Me: get a smart watch to buzz when people message me (phone has been silenced since 2007)
Also me even though watch has not buzzed: oh I wonder if I have any new messages, let me look at the phone screen
(Immediate disappointment)
this post was submitted on 17 Sep 2026
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Followed by pretending to write a reply to the message I didn't receive so people don't think I'm some kind of textless loser. Smile like it was something funny. Don't smile too much or people will think I'm nuts. Check again a minute later like the person who didn't text me replied to the reply I didn't send.
We should all start a group chat.
Wait a mi- nope, that was just me sending myself an ssh key.