Masturbating doesn't warrant hurricanes.
But using fossil fuels and methane to run your hyperscale data centers absolutely does.
this post was submitted on 21 Sep 2026
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See how I connected this windmill to a power generator to a jackhammer with a combination dildo/fleshlight on the end? Hurricanes cause the masturbs
The masturbation will continue until the hurricanes improve.
I mean, some get randy when a natural disaster starts... You know, gotta seed the potential devastation with replacements. It's a vicious cycle
When life gives you nature disasters you gotta rock them like a hurricane.
I'm going to have sex with a hurricane.
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design a thing with a reward system that trains it to take a certain action *
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get upset at your creation because you didn't want it to do what your design led it to do *
Sounds kind of like what some of those AI company people do.
If god made men as himself, and found the man needed a woman to do not feel lonely... that mean he also created at least one goddess for himself, right? But so there are now more than just one god... Or does he keep company to himself with his hands?
no love is greater than collective punishment ❤️
/s
It's his own fault for making the hurricanes so sexy.
Feels like I'm raining nothing at all. Nothing at all. Nothing at all!
Not this year. Notice how there hasn't been a single hurricane? Perfectly normal, carry on masturbating.
This cannot possibly backfire. I'm sure he's finally given up on the futile. Time to make a white November.
Yeah but instead they took Dolly and Tim …
Stress makes creatures get hormonal, so we can assume that floods and hurricanes are a sign we should do more, not less.
No hurricanes where I live, so I guess my masturbation doesn’t bother Jesus.
But I just bought this very nice lube :(
I wonder if people outside of the USA even get what that means.
It means that they prefer very large dildos and buttplugs?
Yes :3c
Im not christian or USian, im just gay uwu
Gross!! ...Using "uwu" unironically? Nasty that.
But I like using "uwu" :c
A friend's name is Uwe. Must be a cousin of him.
Didn't say you had to NOT be nasty... you do you, mister "uwu"
Why would this only be a USA thing? Don't other countries have religious crazies? Maybe USA is more heavily influenced.
Most are in the USA, but even in NZ we have a cult psychopath who gets his congregation to harass trans people.
Brian Tamaki deserves a bullet.
The US in no way have a monopoly on Christian fundamentalism.
But not all Christian fundamentalists are obsessed with cutting off pieces of baby penises. That's largely an American thing.
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What, lube? We have lube.
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Youve given up on hawk tuah and spit on that thang already?
How quickly we forget...
I bet someone, somewhere rub one each time he see alerts of a Category 4 in the news.
dances around fire believing in skydaddies
we take the good with the bad just like Jezus would
Nofap is retarded.
I thought it was the gays that caused hurricanes?
Some, yeah, using our nefarious gay hurricane machines. It went out of fad when we started working on our moon base for the Grand Conversion Death Ray.
My god... climate change isn't real, it's all the gooners fault!
When will Jesus realise, everything the hurricane rapes is just more fuel to the fire of my loins.
I was promised hairy palms.
A Calvin and Hobbs that was never printed.
Hurricames cause hurricanes?
We find out that masturbation truly does cause hurricanes. Even one masturbator is enough to cause them. Do you quit masturbating? (Assume it’s guaranteed that if you do, everybody else in the world will as well)
So.. In this scenario, are we going to just kill all the non-human primates who masterbate?
No that would be cruel, we just amputate their hands and junk
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The hurricanes turn me on.
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