memes

It felt nice to age out of the standard military draft (in the US)

It’s not the best part but it is a nice perk

Yeah, we should definitely have horror movie sequels where the ones who managed to get away from the stabber/slicer/decapitator is now a person living nearby and interacting with the new kids coming for their scandalous swimming/camping/drinking party time and warning them off being killed. It would be a cool callback.

These are the very same college kids who choose to hide behind the wall of rusty chainsaws instead of getting into the running car that has enough room and fuel to get them all to safety

I’m not warning anyone. That would require talking to them, screw that.

I’m the somewhat creepy next door neighbor vaguely spotted on the way in as a little spook to set the tone, who watches the shenanigans from the kitchen window but doesn’t answer the door when they inevitably follow the light onto my property at midnight. I just keep watching. I’m not getting involved with my insane neighbor, but I own this place so I’m also not leaving. This shit happens every few years, and I’m over it.

There are plenty of other people passing along those warnings, if they didn’t listen, that’s what they get.

You can still be the guy selling chilli to the teenagers on a road trip before they head down the road and later find out where the meat for that chilli comes from.

and yet, still in the horror movie.

I'm the middle aged paranoid techy guy that is locked in his fortress with cameras everywhere that will somehow end up dead the moment he let's in that one person he helped online but they are followed by the bad guys.

Edit: middle aged

I'm the middle-aged guy you spy in the woods now and again. Folks say he's not crazy, but he always has a gun on him.

The fact that this is the best thing about getting older, and therefore that nothing about getting older is better than this, paints a rather bleak picture of aging.