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Ask Lemmy
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Okay here's another one and this does not describe all of my potential dating partners, but a big amount of them.
People who have kids and declare that the kids are their whole lives; people who do not have kids, but talk about their dog like it's their baby.
It's wonderful to love your kids, and it's wonderful to bond with your dog, but to define your entire being around those is so unhealthy.
Many parents whose kids are already in university, and don't want much to do with them can often not let go. Often will spend their entire weekend fretting about their daughter or son who doesn't even want to talk to them and won't reply to their messages. Get on with life, lady. Get one actually.
And I love dogs, and I've tried to set aside and compromise on the "my dog is my baby" mentality, but it always comes down to that person being so completely disconnected from their own emotional core, you can never actually know them.
Someone who actually cares about me enough to help me with the things I suck at. Someone who would drop everything they are doing if I needed them, the way I do for everyone I care about. Someone who thinks I am sexy and wants to be physically intimate. Someone I am comfortable enough around to be myself and not mask to fit in.
What my current relationship is lacking is he's not as available as I would like, we don't talk about deep personal shit, and we don't really have sex. Basically just friends that cuddle and sleep in the same bed on occasion.
Main problem is I want more, and he doesn't know what he wants. But I'd rather keep what we have than have nothing at all. We're not monogamous so I've just been thinking about maybe simply adding more people than trying to find one that ticks every box. Plus it would be fun to say shit like "My Monday and Tuesday boyfriends are hanging out with my Wednesdsy girlfriend, which is why I'm just chilling with Thursday, even though it's Monday."
why don't you become better at those things yourself? why should someone else do it for you?
if you want to be better at something the only person stopping yourself is you. you might be a lot happier generally if you took charge of your life like that.
Human decency. Most of my dates are souless corporate drones who are completely selfishly absorbed in chasing the dragon of materialism, while spouting spiritualistic new age buzzwords about how they value 'experiences' while they are spending 130% of their pay on luxury lifestyle living and are deeply unhappy and are solely looking for a male provider so they can quit their job and maintain their lifestyle.
They are often openly sexist, racist, and disgusting focused on appearances above all else. Everything is chasing brands and projecting an image of 'success' despite how rotten they are on the inside.
The last decent human being I met on a date was years ago. It was an immigrant woman who was a nurse who was supporting her family. She was so kind, thankful, and decent. I was not attracted to her but I meet about 35 of the above types of ladies for every decent one I meet who actually is living for someone other than personal 'hedonism' and needing weekly therapy to 'survive' the 'difficulties' of their sad little rich girl lives.
I want someone who shares my hatred of apple and companies in general. A fediverse user who is smart and has common sense. On top of that I would also like someone who doesn't mind that im socially awkward and terrible at one on one conversations.
i want. But i can't