The last woman I was chatting with turned out to be anti-vax. So, not that.
this post was submitted on 05 Oct 2025
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You all have options??
Beat me to it. High five!
I was meaning people you may know in person or people you see on dating apps or the like
I'm feeling worse rn
The intent behind this post was to help others with self-improvement by showing why others might turn somebody down
Mostly free time to meet in person. Busy professional looking for busy professional gets difficult.
Let me just drop this here as constructive criticism..
https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/the-most-common-regrets-people-have-at-the-end-of-life
Now I know some might think there's this guy on the internet throwing around stuff feeling very clever but let me tell you that's not it.
I experienced it, my heart stopped. And so could yours. I was very lucky. And now I'm not running around selling the next religion (the contrary actually) however I can recommend making the time for things that count.
Workaholics are toxic. Not having time to meet your life partner means you're not trying.
This. If you're married to work, very few people are going to want to be your side piece.
Creative, fun and encouraging. Emotionally mature, respectful, and commited to ongoing self improvement. Everything else is peripheral, but bonus points for writers and artists who are into pc gaming and technology.
My biggest issue has been men socialized with some kind of bias against women, who don't examine their need to protect and try to make decisions for me. I'm pansexual but lean toward people with dicks.
I learned how to use power tools when I was seven, I'm mechanically inclined, and built my own PC at eighteen. There are an unfortunate number of men who will start a conversation with me from a place of condescension. The last date I went on, he showed me his chainsaw, I asked to try it out and what he said started with "Okay, well it can be a little scary at first because it's loud..." Another guy told me I was cracking eggs wrong when I made breakfast. I used to be a head chef.
The condescension and man-splaining thing is difficult and is definitely a trained part of a male-dominated culture/sub-culture if it is based on prejudice. The chainsaw incident might have come from a genuine place of concern and caution since power tools can be dangerous, even variants of tools somebody has experience with. I personally struggle with gauging my expectations of how familiar any random person would be with something I’m bringing up, especially if it’s something I’ve had other people confused by in the past. I usually say “Have you heard of X?” or “How familiar are you with X?” to try to avoid either scenario of my audience thinking that I’m condescending them or them being lost about a subject they know nothing about.
I know and understand where it comes from, but I don't want to deal with it in a partner.
The chainsaw thing was absolutely because I'm a chick and representative of his overall attitude toward me that evening. Asking if I'd used a chainsaw would have been appropriate, or a quick rundown on starting/stopping would have been fine.
Basically, I ask myself if he would have said the same thing in the same way to a man. I've worked on enough jobsites to know that no, that doesn't happen.
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Options, I'm entirely socially isolated.
I'm gender fluid, I describe myself as 70% male, 30% female gender identity. I'm straight.
I am exhausted by women continually declaring what they want in men, but not really wanting that. I simply cannot act obsessive, possessive, or dominant. I want a woman to approach me on an equal footing. It continually shocks me how women demand toxic behavior in a dating context.
I was like this when I started dating. Popular media and family impacted how I viewed love and relationships, so accustomed to living with controlling narcissists I didn't understand what healthy affection looked like.
My first relationships were nightmares with similar people who reinforced those ideas. If I was approached by someone with a healthy, balanced mindset, I wouldn't know what to do with them.
Which is not to provide a solution, but rather some insight. In a sense it's a good thing you recognize a toxic situation before it begins, in another sense it can be lonely and frustrating, and I can commiserate from the other side
I completely agree and I can validate many women I've met have been in very toxic relationships, and as much as they hate them, they do not know how to function in a healthy one
women continually declaring what they want in men, but not really wanting that.
That’s something I’ve noticed sometimes as well, and I hoped that there’d be women (or even some confused men or nonbinaries) answering this post and a discussion would follow which would help both them and others understand what they’re really after.
demand toxic behavior in a dating context
This is something I’ve seen as well, but I think of it as a separate issue as the previous one. If somebody wants a sugar daddy/mommy/whatever, that’s entirely different than an actual relationship.
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An immune system capable of dealing with my pets.
Living nearby.
A positive attitude or at least a attempting to improve on things that bother them in their life.
Age.
Ugh, yeah, I can't stand all the ageless people around me. Get on my mortal plane, gosh!
Exactly! Lol.
Maybe more like "be of an appropriate age". I don't mind a fling or two with people on the extreme ends of appropriate age-range, but recently everyone I connect with seem to be at least ten years younger than me. It's like my city had a purge of people of my age and I just slept through it.
scales, wings, a tail, and the ability to breath fire tbh
Would you accept fish scale?
Is puking blobs that are on fire acceptable? Without distance propulsion.
Depressive intellectual honesty is #1.
No children ever #2. I didn't like children even when I was one and that never changed. My sense of morality also disagrees with procreation.
No deity beliefs or vague spiritualism #3.
That's it really, and yet I've barely ever met anyone like this. People don't exactly advertise these traits that I've seen local to me.
Edit: Oh and as far as physical goes I'm not body picky. It's mostly about the face. I like angular, resting bitch face. Intensity. If you scare people I'm into it.
i think #3 is your greatest limiter. i expect more people have at least some kind of spiritual / meaning-making impulse than don't, by a large margin.
I think it really depends on the demographics of the immediate society somebody finds themself within. The presence or absence of specific spirituality or religious beliefs is really important to a lot of people and can make up a significant portion of who they are. Just as the commenter is requiring an absence of certain beliefs, there are others in the dating pool who are requiring the presence of these beliefs, and the commenter wouldn’t have a healthy relationship if they have to fake who they are to be with somebody.
For sure, it's not good news here. Hell, I've been called sub-human to my face for not being spiritual by one of my friend's partners and she stopped hanging out with us when I invite him over. She's not even religious. All it took was mentioning I wasn't even spiritual at a backyard BBQ when the topic came up naturally ¯\(ツ)/¯
I usually just say “I’m not superstitious” or “That’s not for me” and leave it and my level of involvement with their beliefs to my audience’s interpretation. As for your friend’s partner and your complicit friend, “Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities” - Voltaire.
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I'd agree. Stats show I've already cut 75% off the global population with that preference alone just the religious! I'm sure it's higher factoring in spiritual.
I don't have current options.
Haven’t dated in years.
If I did: someone that would accept that in my spare time I like to video game (and won’t beat up on me for doing that).
Someone that doesn’t smoke or vape
Someone that will not get mad that I have a 5.1 theater on the main TV, or that I use a TiVo to record my shows.
Someone that isn’t ugly. Sorry but if I don’t find you attractive then the answer is no.
You don’t need large breasts but you need something there.
Also someone that can handle that I like sci-fi and fantasy movies.
And you need to make about what I make a year. It can be more, but not less. If you make less , then that means financially you can’t pay your monthly bills. I can support myself but on my income I can’t support two people.
Unless you're barely scraping by, I don't understand how not making the exact amount of money you're making at least means they can't pay their monthly bills. 🤔
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I move every two weeks.
I move every day. How do you go two weeks without movement?
Baron Harkonnen spotted
When I am talking with them, I want to feel like I am having a conversation with ChatGPT.
Even more unreasonable expectations. :(
But yes.
Has an offroad-capable vehicle so she can meet/follow me to those gorgeous, quiet, unpopulated, un/less-polluted, green places I like to hang out in as much as possible.
Maybe carpool after getting to know each other and feeling comfortable/safe together?
They need to be local or willing to help me move to them.
Online relationships are nice but I wanna cuddle. 😭
I was never in a relationship and am very awkward in social interaction so I would probably want someone who will be patient with me and be alright with random info dumps/sharing YouTube videos about random tech and such.
Similar educational and economic status and close in age. Essentially, financially independent and intelligent. However, my “single parent” status quite fairly keeps most people away. So I have given up.
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