this post was submitted on 03 Nov 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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[–] Lasherz12@lemmy.world 26 points 1 day ago

I know most internet people are ready to offer psychological advice at the drop of a hat, but this is really a question for a therapist because every situation is different and we don't know your struggles even close to enough to speculate.

This doesn't seem like something to rush into, personally.

You should probably ask a therapist about this because the level of trauma is very subjective.

[–] ragingHungryPanda@piefed.keyboardvagabond.com 20 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I saw something where they took an old WWII vet, with psychologists and others, to a city that he had fought in that gave him PTSD nightmares for decades. He was scared to go back, but when he did, his PTSD went away because he saw how changed everything was and you couldn't tell that the war had happened. That allowed him to recognize that the danger was gone and over.

that's very different from revisiting a place that something bad happened just because, though. This was 40 years later in a city that was rubble when he last saw it.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 2 points 22 hours ago

That's the sort of case I was thinking about. All depending! But it probably doesn't hurt to overwrite bad memories with bland ones. And as in your case, time is a factor.

Going back to a place where you took an ass beating last month? Nah. Same place in 10-years? Likely helpful.

[–] vector@no.lastname.nz 20 points 1 day ago

Don't visit alone. Go with someone. Being alone would lead you to over-think and having someone to talk would take your mind off it.

[–] MehBlah@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago

I traveled to the city where I was born recently. Its the first time I've been there in twenty years that I haven't felt anxiety making the trip. The reason is simple. My parents died last year and now that I know I'm not going to run into them I'm fine.

[–] WhyJiffie@sh.itjust.works 4 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

I think it wouldn't be a good idea to go back to china

[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 1 points 22 hours ago

I mean I was just brainstorming. Politically, yea bad idea. But I was hoping for enough "cons" about this concept of "returning to scene of trauma" so I can dissuade myself from doing it, because idk why I just can't stop thinking about that day when I had that fight with my brother and I ran off, and alone in that city. I used Baidu maps and it doesn't exactly show everything, because some streets are too narrow to get filmed into the streetview.

I was thinking like maybe retrace places I've been to, perhaps it could be therapudic. But yea this international border thing is too much of a hassle, so I feel like the potential benefits isn't really worth it. Idk.

[–] Naich@lemmings.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What do you hope to gain from visiting?

[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Idk, I feel like I want to just "face my fears", like just go, "process" the memory, to make my brain realize the event is over, get some good food, make some good memories so that the traumatic experience isn't the first thing I recall whenever that place gets mentioned.

Like its just there's something in my brain that urges me to go for some reason. But I also remember those emotions that day, the fear. So its a conflicting decision to make.

Its complicated, hard to explain.

[–] thelivefive@startrek.website 2 points 21 hours ago

It kind of sounds like a form of exposure therapy.

[–] Grimy@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 21 hours ago)

So take this with a huge grain of salt but maybe a half step would be having someone take videos of the location and then viewing those. It might help you get a feel for it.

I have no idea if this is a valid idea, mostly basing it off of vets wearing VR headsets a few years back to try and cure ptsd.

[–] Nemo@slrpnk.net 6 points 1 day ago

I've done it, I didn't like it, can't say whether it did me any good. But your trauma is different from mine, so don't take this as even a faint endorsement.

It really depends on a lot of factors. The following questions are not ones I’m expecting you to answer, but questions that would affect this decision: What kind of trauma was it? How long ago was it? Is it likely the trauma could reappear on a second visit (example: if it was due to a war and the war is still ongoing, going back would not be a good idea)? What is the reason for going back, is it to overcome the fear, face it head on, etc.?

Depending on the severity of the trauma, this may be an answer best looked into with a professional, who can guide you on when and how it would be best to go back, or if going back is even something you should do. It simply may not be a good idea to do, at all. Or the way in which you originally planned to do it may not be the best idea for one reason or another that you may have overlooked but a professional could point out.

If it’s not that severe of a trauma that you feel needs a professional, I think the other person here is right, to go with someone, someone who you can trust to confide this with and tell them your plan. That you had something traumatic happen and you want their presence for moral support. But be careful not to expose them to the same sort of trauma too if the area is still dangerous enough for that to happen a second time.

[–] AbouBenAdhem@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I don’t have any direct experience with that, and I can’t say if it’s a good or bad idea—but I’d say if you’re going to do it, it can’t hurt to do it with some friends and try to create some positive new experiences to overwrite the traumatic ones.

[–] Nyxias@fedia.io 1 points 1 day ago

No, really.

There are just some things in your life, that you have to really work on overcoming and distancing. I remember the first time I moved, I remembered taking some time out of my day to go back to visit my old home, that I lived in for so many years until moving. That old home contained numerous memories but a lot of negativity that built up in it. I really broke down that day and had to leave. I ended up moving back in soon after and then again years later after my second move-out.

I'm on my third move-out and I wouldn't want to try it again, also it helps because I'm a 1,622 miles, 4 states away from it.

[–] FUCKING_CUNO@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Be sure to eat a fistful of shrooms first

[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago (2 children)

How to get arrested 101 (it's not a drug-friendly location btw)

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 1 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago)

Shockingly, people really can't tell when you're tripping balls unless they get a good look at your pupils and make note. ⚫️_⚫️

I've been falling off the Earth and had perfectly normal conversations. A few times, "I'm sorry. I'm tripping my balls off here and not making sense." 🫨 No one ever new. LMAO, I've talked to cops!

I was just fuckin around, dont try that, lol