this post was submitted on 04 Nov 2025

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‘It smelled of onions and mustard,’ Border Patrol officer hit by sandwich in DC testifies (www.cnn.com)

submitted 1 month ago by CubitOom@infosec.pub to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

114 comments fedilink hide all child comments

“He did it. He threw the sandwich.”

That’s how the defense counsel for Sean Dunn, the man who threw a sub-style sandwich at a Border Patrol officer in Washington, DC, this summer began the federal trial against him Tuesday morning.

(page 2) 50 comments

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[–] ilinamorato@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

A lot of us dream of using a submarine to attack our enemies. This isn't exactly what I meant.

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The torpedo of truth

[–] Tronn4@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Freedom Footlong

[–] SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It was a run-by sandwiching by a fleet-footed foot-long fling-er.

To be fair, the sandwich was loaded.

Lettuce, tomato, pickle, cheese, cucumber, onion, spinach, mushrooms, olives, bell peppers…

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Fuck I want that sandwich inside me!

[–] SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 month ago

There is currently no limit on the amount of times the submarine sandwich can be deployed...as a breadly weapon.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

McPTSD

PTSBLT

[–] Nalivai@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

There was a similar case in Russia in 2019 when a guy threw an empty paper cup in a direction of a police line at a protest, and got arrested and was tried for it. Ultimately he was set free, 2019 was very nice time for Russia, comparatively. Will see how American justice system compares.

[–] Wilco@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 month ago

This failed as an assault at the grand jury level, so they had to bring out a weak ass lesser charge.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Well, it was assault. Hilarious assault is still assault. As the victim, I'd be too humiliated to press charges.

[–] bookmeat@lemmynsfw.com 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If there's no harm there's no assault.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

We're both wrong. "Battery" is the what the charge should be. Any unwanted and "violent" touching is battery (jurisdictions vary wildly of course). "Assault" is me telling you I'm going to beat your ass. Can't believe I mixed those up. 🙄

In any case, the notion of harm is a factor, but no harm has to occur to be charged. SOURCE: Spent the weekend in jail for admitting to pushing my wife. Battery. Got off, but still, had to spend 2-days with a bunch of animals.

Never speak to the cops!

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[–] grimpy@lemmy.myserv.one 6 points 1 month ago

it smelt like freedom

[–] YurkshireLad@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 month ago

Won’t you think of the laundry bill damnit!!

[–] RedFrank24@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Aww diddums

[–] 1985MustangCobra@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 month ago

im still upset he wasted a nice good panino on this scum.

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