this post was submitted on 16 Nov 2025
373 points (95.4% liked)

Not The Onion

18641 readers
659 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
(page 2) 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] cerebralhawks@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 2 days ago (4 children)

As a religiously neutral person (I don't fit with either atheists or agnostics), I like the idea of this.

There is a finite amount of information about Jesus... and a lot of speculation. There are also other books that are not part of the Bible because those who curated the Bible chose not to include them. The first five books of the New Testament for example, the Gospels of Luke, John, and the others, are the stories of Jesus, but they differ slightly due to each disciple's interpretation. You may ask why Judas didn't get a book? He wrote one. But it was not included because he was the traitor who betrayed Jesus. So he doesn't get a say. But, what if he did?

I'd like to see this chat bot be very transparent about its sources. By default it should limit itself to what is in the Bible, but it should also be possible to add other sources as well. If Christians are truly serious about the command by God to not add anything to the Bible, a Jesus chatbot should be more trustworthy than some Biblical scholar's book about Jesus. The latter is speculation while the former should only be sourced from the Bible. Sure, it might be sacrilege, but if it's done right, I think it could be an invaluable tool for priests who want to run their planned sermon — since a lot of them now are writing them on a computer anyway — by "Jesus" to have "Him" tell them if anything goes against the Bible and how they could improve it.

I'd just be curious what it says about certain controversial topics, especially if it goes against the Christian grain, and can source its reasoning with Scripture. To avoid blasphemy, it should also tell you straight up that it is not pretending to be Jesus, but rather, is only using the entire Bible (+ whatever sources you add) to help you understand what Jesus, as portrayed in those sources, would say. I imagine it would be against abortion, for example, since the act of a married het couple is an act of God and the fetus would have a soul. It would be less sure if the parents were not married, but I think it would still be against it. That said, it would probably be for immigrants and the poor. It would point out that homosexual sex is considered an unclean act, but the actual love and relationship itself is not and that a pious life would counteract that, and it could also point out that everyone sins and lives unclean lives, and that's the whole point of John 3:16. But, what do I know, I'm not a Christian. I've just read the Bible. A long time ago. But I feel like I got the message.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Some one should ask it… “since you only got chromosomes from Marry, and assuming she wasn’t intersex, does that make you trans?”

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Just think, if Mary hadn't been sleeping with the mailman we wouldn't have to be dealing with this shit.

Oh, no, I wasn't cheating on you this baby came from, er... God yeah, god, it's a virgin birth honest.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] FaceDeer@fedia.io 14 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Chatting with fictional characters via AI is nothing new.

[–] Asfalttikyntaja@sopuli.xyz 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I know many people who were chatting with god even without any apps or AI.

[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] harrys_balzac@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Schizophrenia. Anytime my ex-MiL went off her meds, she'd hear voices from the walls.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] tal@lemmy.today 3 points 2 days ago (6 children)

Jesus very probably did exist.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Historical_Jesus

I don't know if the historicity of any of the other figures listed has been established. I mean, Jesus had a mother, for example, but I don't know if there's any reason to believe that she was anything like Mary as the Bible describes her.

I'd guess that most of the Biblical figures with established historical existence are gonna be major figures like Pontius Pilate.

kagis

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_biblical_figures_identified_in_extra-biblical_sources

[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

Some of the apocryphal gospels seem really embarrassed about the idea of Mary being a commoner/spinning clothes for money.

There are very old rumors about Jesus being the son of a Roman soldier who raped Mary.

There’s probably something we can peer at, through a glass darkly, about her somewhere there.

the roman's name (panthera) is a pun on virgin (parthena), according to an unreliable scholar i met

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (5 replies)
[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 day ago

Hey Jesus, show me a seahorse emoji

[–] GaMEChld@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

I wonder if it calls out shit that goes against Jesus's teachings.

[–] MourningDove@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

We are doomed as a species.

Yeah, so let's enjoy the time we got left! Now where's my baby seal club?

[–] lazycouchpotato@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

https://m.twitch.tv/ask_jesus was quite popular a while back.

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 day ago

No it doesn't, it let's you talk to an LLM that is configured to give responses like imaginary beings would.

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

At what point does it stop being a religious thing anymore?

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Just when you thought AI couldn't play any deeper into the delusions of the stupid and gullible. Bravo AI. Now excuse me while I go lay down on some train tracks.

Can we make that a group activity? Cause I'm so done with this timeline as well.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Famously simple and uncontroversial thing to do, interpret what Jesus would say in response to any question.

Also loling at Satan not giving evil advice in a Christian app

[–] HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 day ago
[–] tal@lemmy.today 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Chat With Jesus, Mary, The Apostles — And Even Satan

Most of those people were likely illiterate, and wouldn't have been able to write the chat messages. You're gonna get about as much out of Jesus on the other end of a chat program as you would a cat walking across the keyboard.

[–] SendMePhotos@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

What does it say about immigrants?

[–] RamRabbit@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

I really like the idea that this is how God has chosen to speak with people. ;p

Out with burning bushes in and in with AI.

load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›