this post was submitted on 28 Mar 2026
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No Stupid Questions

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As an early 90's millennial, I've never noticed a "gen z stare" as described in news articles like a "blank face that shows lack of social skill or ability to think". The only times I've witnessed it happen and seen the older person accuse them of "gen z stare" is when the older person says something off hand or dumb but isn't self aware enough to realize they're being weird. Hell, I've given people a blank face countless times because I was taught it was better to say nothing at all sometimes. Especially when it came to talking to older people at work.

I remember when I was 16, some middle aged guy at work accused me of having no personality. In reality, I kept all conversations short as possible with him (like almost everyone in the store) because they were casually racist and misogynistic.

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[–] thoro@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 hours ago

Really strange how many attribute their anecdotes to a wide ranging phenomenon afflicting only one specific generation.

[–] SethDove@lemmy.world 15 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

I've always interpreted the stare as a consequence of growing up where cameras (phones) are everywhere and nothing ever disappears from the internet. And as a result people who grew up under that are ALWAYS cognizant of this. So they express nothing because it could make for embarrassing video or photos. Being extra or try-hard are also considered bad. Everything is tamped down, socially. They are seriously just repressed, internalized.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 4 points 4 hours ago

Yes, there is a feeling of the world is now a panopticon and anything you do or say will be used against you and taken out of context.

[–] Xanthrax@lemmy.world 8 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (1 children)

It's collective PTSD. 1997. Keeping up with things feels like a marathon. It's hard smile rn. It doesn't feel appropriate rn. You Stonewall until the other person indicates how they feel, but sometimes you get two blank faces going back and forth. In general, we live in interesting times and I don't want to het punched in the face because I smiled about Trump being a bitch.

[–] Ptstampeder@lemmy.zip 2 points 4 hours ago (2 children)

I wish that term would not get thrown around so much like when a fat chick complaining she was delivered the wrong pizza, now she has PTSD. What you're describing is not PTSD.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 4 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

You missed the collective memo! Everything that happens that is mildly upsetting is now traumatic and requires years of therapy to cope with... and yes, the barista who mispronounced your name at Starbucks did it DELIBERATELY to mess with you because they secretly HATE you... and it's not at all your projection..

[–] ThunderQueen@lemmy.world 3 points 4 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Ptstampeder@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (1 children)

I'm well aware of what PTSD is, and that article is about depression. I dont give a shit about this supposed "collective trauma". Edit- most of the people described in the article would be ethically diagnosed as having depression and/or potentially Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). I have a BSc in Psychology and used to treat victims of serious crimes where the offfender(s) was convicted and received federal sentences at minimum 4 years +.

[–] ThunderQueen@lemmy.world 1 points 46 minutes ago

K. Well me and multiple of my friends are diagnosed with cptsd because of the insanity that is our world.

[–] gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 35 points 20 hours ago

no. it's just another thing to make people upset at each other. ignore what they say.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 29 points 20 hours ago

No, hacks keep writing generation war articles because they're stupid and lazy.

Even the "stare" is just a hack's memories of general teenager movie tropes. I bet right now if I said "80's bored teenage stares at character saying something stupid and weird" you know exactly what I'm talking about.

[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 50 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago) (1 children)

mainstrem media likes attributing negative things about younger generations and to try and keep this stupid generational war alive. i wouldn't bother. talk to the kids and you will see they are fine.

[–] NostraDavid@programming.dev 10 points 21 hours ago (4 children)

Step 1: Get rid of these generational names.

Europe doesn't have them. The USA only has them because whoever comes up with one gets invited to talk about what defines that generation, and with that a lot of money.

[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 7 points 21 hours ago

feels like dividing to conquer doesn't it?

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[–] lastlybutfirstly@lemmy.world 54 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Every generation is like this at that age. The hallmark of my generation, GenX, was apathy. Not that I care. Whatever. Never mind.

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[–] happydoors@lemmy.world 27 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I have absolutely seen this and experienced this. Although, I don’t think it’s much different from any teenager or young person working shitty jobs in any decade I’ve lived or seen in media. The silent teen staring you down at fast food is timeless.

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[–] Smoogs@lemmy.world 27 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

That’s not genz thing. That’s the hot potato method of where you drop the potato on the ground and don’t play the games the sociopath wants to play.

This is a more widely used strategy now that mental therapy is more openly discussed. And the best way to win the game with a narcissist/sociopath is to not play their game. in the older days this was done in form of cutting contact. Don’t take their calls. Leave. Don’t interact.

Deadpan stare is a form of this as visual blocking.

Before the 80s so many people thought ‘I can change him!’ And after the 80s there were so many books about living loving a narcissist and how you can’t change him.

Now we just have the deadpan stare. And so many hack comedians from yesterday liken it to ‘cancel culture’ or not having a sense of humour cuz they can’t deal with being irrelevant because of their unchecked hatred landing flat

[–] Angrydeuce@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (7 children)

I guess it depends on the context.

Work in a customer service job? People are going to talk to you. They may ask you questions. Those questions may even be something you consider silly. But guess what? Thats part of working customer service! Youre paid a wage to...wait for it....serve customers. Part of serving customers is occasionally having to answer questions that you may or may not think are stupid.

But its not a big deal. There is no one on this planet that hasn't asked a stupid question before. Even the person that works at the counter at Starbucks and is annoyed that Im asking a question and thinks its appropriate to stand there and blink at me rather than acknowledge I exist in some human way, ill bet any amount of money they asked a stupid assed question at some point in their lives and the person they asked almost definitely didnt just sit there and stare at them until they felt bad for asking it.

I guess my point is, the problem as I see it arent the people that play that game in their day to day, its the people that play that game when their whole job is to assist the public in some way. The context is different. You can do whatever you want in your personal life, but dont take a customer service job if you dont want to interact with customers. Youre paid a wage to answer those questions and assist customers whether you think theyre stupid or annoying or not. But dont worry, nobody forces anyone to work anywhere in this country anyway, so if that is truly too much to bear, there are plenty of other jobs that arent customer service out there, go do one of those.

Signed, a 40-something that has gotten the blink in response to questions like "is this where I pay?" when standing at the register at a diner and being blankly stared at for 5 minutes, or "excuse me, where are the restrooms located?" when Ive got my 3 year old in tow and they're doing the potty dance, about to soil themselves. If someone here thinks those are the appropriate sorts of questions to just stand there like a statue and not respond, please help me understand how, because I cant figure it out.

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[–] silverneedle@lemmy.ca 9 points 23 hours ago (4 children)
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[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 7 points 22 hours ago (4 children)

Young people in customer facing positions seem fairly unemotive in general, I'm not necessarily sure it's a new trend. The positions these young people are in are generally minimum wage (or effectively minimum wage). They aren't really being paid enough to smile lol, or don't really have much to smile about.

I tend to avoid all eye contact with folks in public so I'm probably not really the best to answer it. It's sort of something I've noticed, but I'm really not convinced it's new.

That said, I do get that there's a lot of folks who missed out on a lot of socialization opportunities during the pandemic. Whether that's enough to lead to an epidemic of young people doing a "stare" I'm not sure.

Every young generation gets clowned on. As a millennial I remember us getting it. So it's hard to really say if this is something real or just more "youth bad" rhetoric.

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[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 day ago

These people we've been screwing over for our own benefit won't smile for us!

[–] FosterMolasses@leminal.space 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Me, an aging Xennial: "The hwat?"

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[–] eronth@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago

It's basically the same concept the "Jim face" from The Office. You do something stupid, they stare deadpan at you.

[–] GreenBeard@lemmy.ca 118 points 1 day ago

As an elder millenial I might have some insight. You know how when we were kids people used to get all up in their feelings when you weren't smiling. That's this. "Gen Z stare", is just "Resting Bitch Face" or "You look prettier when you smile darlin'" repackaged and rebranded. They're mad that the young people in general and women in particular aren't running around with goofy forced smiles on their faces to make them feel special.

[–] alekwithak@lemmy.world 61 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (27 children)

The various answers in this thread are just hilarious.

The stare is real; it's when they work in a service position but don't communicate. You walk up to the counter and instead of greeting you or asking how they can help you or saying anything at all they just stare at you. That's the Gen z stare. It's that simple and I've encountered it everywhere that employs younger people. It doesn't bother me, you don't have to do shit for a shit wage, but it does make interactions unnecessarily awkward.
The comment saying that Gen z just doesn't tolerate stupid is hilarious. What percentage of your generation voted for Trump again?

[–] Angrydeuce@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago

Thank you! This is the part I cannot stand. If you want to sit and blink at me on the bus when I ask if the seat next to you is taken, hey, fair enough, Ill just sit down then and fuck you, I was just asking to be nice but aint no one sitting in it and you didnt open your mouth so now Im sitting in it and you can process that however you need to, not my problem.

But when Im at the store and ask where the paper towels are so I dont have to spend 20 minutes walking through a building that covers 40 acres, and get nothing but a dead ass stare, thats fucking ridiculous. Is having to point to an aisle really such a hardship that mentally it causes you to lockup?

Honestly I think this comes down to a lack of socialization. People arent learning how to function in social situations that arent curated for them ahead of time anymore and simply do not know how to communicate properly with strangers. Which is understandable, of course, but where it falls apart is when you willingly take a job to be in that position and then dont want to do what the job entails.

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