this post was submitted on 02 May 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

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top 30 comments
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[–] HEXN3T@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 6 days ago
[–] ironhydroxide@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Cause it tastes like you just pulled it out of a hat.

[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Like…a nice fancy top hat? Or someone’s nasty ass beanie?

[–] snooggums@piefed.world 3 points 1 week ago

Sweaty construction worker beanie.

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That was Mrs. Frizzle's next career after she got fired for child endangerment.

[–] PodPerson@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 week ago

This is objectively the best answer - no need for others.

[–] smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If you ask "what's in this?" you get no answer. Someone creatively applied "a magician never tells their secrets" to this scenario, and thus, Magic Chef.

In reality, it's just a fuck ton of butter. That's the secret.

[–] W98BSoD@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 week ago

Hi Paula Deen!

[–] stolig@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

He cooks everything with magic mushrooms

[–] Routhinator@startrek.website 4 points 1 week ago

I make steaks and tiramisu and her panties dissapear. Magic.

Pact with Satan

[–] iMastari@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Can actually burn water.

[–] turtlesareneat@piefed.ca 4 points 1 week ago

Turns the mice that die behind it into leftover chicken meat

[–] CallMeAl@piefed.zip 3 points 1 week ago

Food inspectors and cleaning procedures have vanished right before your eyes!

Terrible curse

[–] CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Dark eldritch rituals performed during the witching hour,

To tear and twist victuals with sanguine power,

A delectable curse sizzles in the pan, Magic Chefs soul sold to the Michelin Star Man

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 3 points 1 week ago

Instead of having a Sorcerer Supreme, Some dimensions get a Magic Chef.

The powers are food based, and used to protect our reality from extra dimensional beasts.

[–] Samskara@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago

It’s all instant food.

[–] Big_Boss_77@fedinsfw.app 3 points 1 week ago

Because he stirs all food with a used Hitachi.

He once outswore Gordon Ramsay, leaving him a blubbering mess on the ground, begging for mercy.

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 3 points 1 week ago

EVEN IN JEST, HOW DARE YOU ASK!
zap You are now the world’s most delicious… hot dog

[–] jobbies@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 week ago

Can turn water into Bearnaise sauce.

[–] username_1@programming.dev 2 points 1 week ago

Because some CEO told so. See that ®️ sign?

[–] FilthyHands@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 week ago

Mixes everything with his wand

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 2 points 1 week ago

He sawed a woman in half with a chainsaw! Now half the time he's cooking pork chops, and the other half.....hmmm anyway. What part did you like?.... I mean from the joke.

A cannibalism expert finds a red nose in a cave....do you guys think this is funny? That's what she said! Its was a woman magician. For this joke. The previous one was a guy.

[–] Retro_unlimited@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

If that is a refrigerator then he lives in the compressor pumping Freon.

If that’s an oven, he hides behind the crisper drawer and regulates the temperature for you.

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

He was cursed by a witch, and his sense of taste and smell are totally wrecked.

[–] Simulation6@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 week ago

Burns the steaks

[–] Steamymoomilk@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 week ago

He failed his wizard exam and pivoted to cooking. I mean cooking is basically alchemy