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Say you were a guardian or parent and get to decide when a child can get a phone or use a computer and get internet with it. If you wish you can also install software and change router settings to what you see fit.
Some parents decide to forbid the internet completely, others are more relaxed. Some go the helicopter route, and some do not care whatsoever what their kid does online.
What is your policy on letting a child use the internet?
Kid that is old enough to use internet is old enough for a parenting talk about internet. It's not that hard.
ublock origin, no ads, only libretube or freetube
FOSS
No internet before they can actually explain how it works. My main goal would be to prevent them from thinking of it as some kind of magic machine that delivers them dopamine. Teach em TCP/IP, Networking, how HTTP functions, how things are actually rendered and what ot actually takes for information to go from bits to images. Then talk to them about how those mechanisms are exploited and how to exploit them back. Advertisement, dark patterns, attention-algorithms and all that. Scoff at them for not using an ad blocker and maybe teach them some small tricks that would make them cool among their peers. I mean, imagine if a Kindergartener showed up to class with their school mandated iPad but was fully able to operate Wireshark lmao
All that is a hypothetical of course, no way in hell I'm having kids.
Granted, this was a little while back, but we raised our kids with semi-supervised internet, with regular reminders about "don't even tell internet randos your real name." By semi-supervised, I mean that the computer was in a relatively public place, and we'd check on them often - so they knew that a parent could be over their shoulder in a moment.
It's definitely a balancing act. You want them to learn the computer and interpersonal skills but you don't want them in real trouble. And so you have to be permissive with a taut leash.
They got phones in junior high, 11 or 12 years old. Another balance between safety and "this is how kids communicate now". They got a healthy foundation with previous exposure/experience, so we felt they could handle that. Yes, there were times when we had to temporarily confiscate a phone, and the other rule was "parents get to look at your phone whenever they want for any or no reason". We exercised that clause, too.
They're all grown now and all appear to be using technology in healthy ways. We're lucky that the balance we tried to strike actually stuck.
children under 12 should not have one, it has been shown they actually have problems reading and writing in HS, and doing math. 13+ they can have it, assuming they arnt trying to do something illegal, like stealing credit cards and buying games or whatever.
Would you allow them unrestricted access to the internet at the age of 13?
Limited time and very limited access to content, only content that is age appropriate.
Use the device’s parental controls to limit apps, downloading, purchases, sites, hours available and total time allowed. Doesn’t matter if it’s a phone, tablet, or PC. LAN parental controls if available as a secondary layer of site blocking and overall internet blocking at internet curfew time.
Been doing this for years. It’s a must. Parents are responsible for limits on mobile devices and content. Having the software do the limits is far, far easier than physically demanding the phone from the kid, shutting it off, or looking over their shoulder to see what they’re using it for.
Don’t have a kid yet (thought of adopting with our partner) and our decision was they were to learn from books, go to the library with them, at most an old 3ds or psp (we’ll fill it with games for them dw) and they can play the games or watch stuff with us (or without if they like) in the living room. We’re planning on setting up our own Jellyfin server with a bunch of movies and shows (we’re actively collecting those and making sure no brain rot is in there, think Bluey and Captain Planet lol) and they can watch those in the bedroom after they earned it.
As for straight up internet access they’ll be allowed to use a family laptop at the kitchen table and we will not be looking at their private data as it’s theirs and not ours, however they’re free to ask us for help and are given clear instructions not to share private info/if they find a creep tell us and we’ll deal with them.
If they collect money and buy (or get a broken one and fix) a phone, laptop, pc or anything else then they can use it wherever and however they like as it’s their property and not ours.
The kids devices have their wifi shut off at 11 pm each week day night. From time to time I will have them show me their screen time history and their Youtube watch history.
The WiFi policy seems good. But the invasion of privacy will only alienate you from your kids because you show them you don't trust them. (You shouldn't! But you shouldn't let them know that.)
I watched some dank ass horror shit when the internet was young. Tub girl, one guy one jar, beheadings, all that kinda shit. I was just a teenager. I'm a highly functioning member of society. Good work, good pay, wonderful family. You teach your kids what's right and what's wrong and they'll go by that. But you gotta LIVE it too. Don't just preach it. Show them what's right.
My mother trusted me completely to do the right thing. She shouldn't have. But kids don't always do the right thing. But me knowing I had betrayed her trust a few times made me feel awful and I learned that it wasn't worth it. Doing what's right is cool, in the end. Kids figure this out if you show them the way.
And if they never learn what's right, they weren't going to no matter what you did, because it will have been outside influence that was too great, and that's just destiny, you could call it. Nothing you could've done.
Best of luck to anyone reading this.
You can’t make a blanket statement like that. It really depends on the situation.
Our kids’ therapist insist we look at their history. But everyone is up front about it so they know it’s going to happen.
This is a very obscured statement. Why does your kids' therapist insist on this? Very relevant information, if you ask me.
I didn't really mean for it to be taken as a blanket statement either. You know your kids better. I'm just saying what I believe to be true in normal circumstances.
My kids haven’t had normal circumstances.
A lot of kids don’t.
I would even argue what “normal” even is…
BTW: what are some ways that people can become parents? If your list is longer than one entry, you’re catching on.
You're right to ask for a definition of what "normal" means. That's relevant.
To me, normal means you actually wanted your kids in the first place, want what's best for them, you live in a relatively safe environment with western values (perhaps optional, perhaps not), with enough money to own devices where you can watch YouTube, in this particular case. That's about it.
Obviously not a blanket thing we can apply globally, no.
But trust in my opinion is worth it's weight in gold. Trust generates trust. Look at how cats show trust, by not really looking at each other at all, and acting relaxed by maybe sitting down and closing their eyes. Because if you are tense, and you keep watching the other cat, it means you need to see their next move in order to react to an attack. When the other cat sees the first one isn't a threat, they do the same thing. Perfect analogy to this situation IMO. Show your kids trust and they will reciprocate. Maybe not immediately but they will grow into it. That's what I believe. 🙂
Supervised use with Adguard Home blocking as much as possible.
Ideally, my hypothetical child would privately laugh at children like this, but encourage them to play a real game like tag or capture the flag or something like that.
But let’s be real, we don’t live like that anymore. Maybe in the 1980s when that tech didn’t exist but if it did, we’d be doom scrolling TikTok too.
