I'm same, but it is weird too.
this post was submitted on 12 May 2026
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When I worked in sales, it was in our training to try to use the customers' name once you found it. It was supposed to establish a rapport, but it always felt forced and manipulative to me.
I bet it was one of those things where there was a study or focus group that suggested it increased sales or customer satisfaction. I also bet it's one of those old business stories that hearkens back to the 60's, or the sample size was tiny, or it was some CEO spouting bullshit that was taken as fact. My point being that it's one of those oft-repeated sales techniques that may not be based in reality.
Even if it's a real thing and statistically more people either like it or don't notice it: I always found it super alienating and I know I'm not alone in that opinion. When I notice someone using too many of these little psychological tricks, I've gone to shop elsewhere because I just don't trust those people.
When I call into a call center, I try to close the conversation by repeating your name. Like "Thanks early_riser, you were a big help today." I hate the phone, so I probably don't actually want to talk to you again (no offense), but somehow that feels more human to me.
Then again, I'm also paranoid that I misheard your name at the start of the conversation. I hope you don't take it too personally if I call you Thagomizer because it sounds similar.
I feel the same way. Names are weird and icky.
I like when peoole use my name but i also avoid using them
I've never thought about it, but if I do think about it, it does make me a little uncomfortable. I think it may stem from have the focus brought squarely on me, or when I say someone else's name, I'm putting them in the spotlight.
It may be similar, but I struggle hard with eye contact. Always have since I was a young child. I can pull it off well enough in professional settings, but otherwise I can't stare at people's eyes.
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I make it a thing to say the person's name that I just met at least 3 times. It's the only way I can remember their names.
so many young people get all bent out of shape when i say sir. i dont even dare say ma'am bc i will get yelled at. but i wish they were acceptable, bc i struggle with name recollection.
That’s a cultural thing for sure. Here in Texas all women are “ma’am” regardless of age.
In the Midwest, too. I had to learn to use "Miss" instead when I moved East because damn Yankees assing some kind of negative age valuation to "Ma'am" or "Madam".
It might be weird, but you're not alone, I'm the same way.
For most people, their own name is one of their favorite sounds in the world. If my friends didn't call me by my name, I wouldn't think we were as close of friends.
If you know somebody's name, it's really good and normal to greet them using their name. Even if you only say their name during the greeting, it will improve relationships and moods with just that. It's so important that I would even recommend that you "fake it 'till you make it" in this case. Even if it feels awkward, start greeting people in person by saying something like, "Hi Steve," or whatever similar greeting feels comfortable to you.
You can use people's names more that that, but it's a skill how to use names without being too weird. So if you're not used to it, start with greetings.
I'm blind, which I could have mentioned in the OP for extra context but eh. People often greet me without telling me who they are, or even making it clear I'm the one they're greeting.
Remembering names, as I understand it, is a very visual thing. Humans use visual cues to tell people apart. I don't have that option, and there's no polite way for me to say "hi, who are you again?" When I have the chance I'll tell people to identify themselves when saying hello to me, and ideally also remind me how I know them if they see me out and about as opposed to wherever I first met them.
If I only have to interact with you over a single day, I can pretty easily use things like clothing, hair and skin tone to differentiate people, but one change of clothes later and you're a stranger. Over time I can match voices to names but it's not as quick as the visual method. Odor is another big one, if they use perfume or body spray, if they smoke, or if they cook in a way that produces distinct odors.
I suspect that blindness changes the rules and expectations by quite a lot, so most of my advice would fly out of the window.
However, I do personally have a problem with remembering names, and so I have one bit of advice that I think is relevant.
there’s no polite way for me to say “hi, who are you again?”
My advice is that, if you think you have, say, a 60% chance of getting their name right, just say that name. If you get their name wrong, they'll probably correct you, but if you're anything like me, when you think it's 60%, the odds are actually much higher.
That is actually what I do, personally, as a person who is bad with names. I realized that I used to mentally punish myself when I messed up a person's name, but conversely, when somebody else messed up my name, I didn't care and immediately forgave them. Basically, I was holding myself to an insane standard that I didn't hold anybody else to.
So, instead, if I think I more likely than not know the name, then I say it. I've only had one person get upset with me in all the time I've been doing this. It's a person who I used to run into fairly frequently, like once every couple of months, but I seemed to have a mental block on his name specifically, and I simply couldn't remember it no matter what I did.
My only other advice is to be careful about letting people know you can identify them by odor. It depends on the odor and the person, but some people could probably be offended by that.
No. I feel the same way. I don't use people's names in general unless I have to like yell at them.
yeah i get that, honestly i've had the same thing for a lot of my life. turns out it's just because my name doesn't really fit me at all, i got to legally change it eventually, now i like being called by my new name :3
edit: also i'm autistic yeah, because the comments mention it a lot
Extroverts (and/or salespeople) use the name of their conversation partner a lot, as a way of connecting, I guess.
I'm the opposite I don't care who you are, don't ask who I am, we are here for business transaction xyz, let's get it done and be on our way.
Definitely weird but ultimately doesn't make a difference
i dont like people using my full, un-abbreviated name, it is a dead sure sign they don't know me at all. When i use peoples names it always feels like im talking down to them?
I do like to use names that i make up for people, little nick-names (if they accept them and they stick)
I think it's because we primarily use someone's name to get that persons attention or to pay attention, for better or worse. If you are already invested in what's going on and someone uses your name it almost feels like an unnecessary call out.
I feel like this could be a deep dive yt essay, because I wonder if it's like this in other cultures and we deviated or it's like that everywhere.