depends on the date, some are super materialistic, expects one person to pay for everything.
this post was submitted on 13 May 2026
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Hear Me Out: This capitalist/traditional attitude towards dating radicalized men into the manosphere. For the last three years this anti-"modern women"/anti-feminism movement has been rising across the internet; and about 75% of their resentment is just about distaste toward dating apps and paying to take a girl out for dinner.
For years I was laughing at ( and then after they helped Trump's re-election, ripping my hair out over ) their complete refusal/inability to see any other alternatives to connect with people besides the most shallow idea of a date. Perhaps these folks just completely unimaginative, or have no personality to offer, and nothing to provide besides the traditional chivalry of this generic "provider" fallback that is unfeasible for most in this economy.
I wish I could just sit down with one of these men, and just ask them "Why not find women elsewhere?". Delete the dating apps and go find a hobby, join a volunteer organization. If you're such a "traditional conservative masculine man", go to a Catholic church or alt-right fascist rally. It's a whole lot cheaper than flying abroad to sugar-daddy at a favorable exchange rate.
Though... the article does say: "More than half of Gen Z adults reported spending $0 a month on dating in a 2025 Bank of America Better Money Habits survey." and mentions folks rejecting dating apps because they prefer real interactions...so maybe folks are waking up.
Why not find women elsewhere?
This is the same vibe as "go hand out your resume in person". I'm old enough to remember when most people didn't have dial up. Things have changed.
But it doesn't though. Dating is something you do to find people to be with IRL. Dating apps are made to keep you engaged and noy to lose customers. If you want to find someone to be with IRL, you gotta look IRL and it helps going somewhere, where people have similar interests
I'm not an expert on manosphere but I think it's just a radical manifestation of a broader anti-feminism movement that spans beyond the internet, beyond young people and beyond dating. It's not attitudes towards dating that radicalized men but a more general feeling of losing power and privileges. Listen to conservative men of all ages and they will complain that you can't molest women anymore, you can't date rape and you have to very careful because people now tend to believe women when they accuse of you of abuse. The manospere is just how the push back against those changes manifests on the internet. In real life it's one of the issues fueling the surge of far-right parties.
Then stop going out for dates. Who convinced you that capitalism has to be a third wheel on your dates? Y'all too dependent on market capitalism to provide for you.
Where are they gonna go? We destroyed most of our third places, or made them so expensive to extract maximum profits.
Dinner is expensive, movies are expensive, small friendly local shops have been disappearing in favor of sterile corporate ones.
For a lot of people the only option would then be a home, which doesn't work great for a lot of reasons.
I legitimately forgot how bad it is in America. I'm like why don't you take the train to somewhere for a nice walk? I forgot you guys can't really do those things with your infrastructure.
Be good company and time spent anywhere becomes worthwhile. It has to start somewhere or capitalism will continue to price us out of even the simplest of human experiences.
"Hey baby, why don't you come upstairs so we can avoid the capitalist machine of going out?"
Picnics are free. Especially if you Yogi Bear yourself the food.
I like this idea except it's probably unwise to accept food from a stranger on a first date
What if she see's me steal the picnic basket, to prove I didn't roofie it?
Unnecessary, Women allready trust the bear.
Women tend to want to meet at least initially where there are lots of other people around
You can have a picnic in a park on a weekend. They don't have to be somewhere secluded.
Fair
Food bank?
"Before we eat, I just need to make a quick bank withdrawal..."
You go to a grocery store. Whoever has the larger bag steals drinks.
You buy a baguette and whoever has the smaller purse steals cheese/hummus.
You eat on a rooftop or golf course at one am, staring out over the city. Me im an analogue tumbler person, so the genders I can date are smoothe talkers and SDR users.
How is dating expensive. With bus fare and dry cleaning for both your dresses its like 50$.
Does this price include the prostitute
Why is anyone spending that much on a date? FFS, you can find plenty of great, cheap eats in NYC. You just gotta look. Husband and I routinely go into Boston to dine and have never broken 65 bucks for food.
Husband
Well yeah, you're not it
Why do peacocks have such ridiculously inefficient feathers? Bird tail feathers can be as little as 1 inch long.
If someone expects me to pay a massive amount of money on a first date, that woild be a dealbreaker for me. Why should I reinforce any traditional gender roles in a crumbling capitalistic society
Different people exist
65 bucks I realize this is NYC but goddammit. This is like 3 peoples worth if food and drink here...
Fr, 200$?? like WTF?? For 200$ you can just find yourself a good expensive hooker and you save yourself the time and effor LOL But to be real, just maybe, dont go out with random golddiggers and basic girls. Personally, if its not a 50/50 or each one pays their stuff; its a red flag. And you can easily spot if its gonna be that or not from the tinder profile pic lol
Damn bro stop telling on yourself
For 200$ that would be my thought process lol. I'm not spending 30$+ on a random meeting with someone im not even sure i'll click with.
How about spending $30 to eat something good while meeting a new person? You talk as if dates were simple transactions where you pay for the possibility of having sex with someone. If that's dating for you than you're right, just go get a hooker.
There are so many things you can do with a partner that don’t cost money and will make permanent memories.
Cucking. Gloryhole. Orgy. Swinging.
Running though the streets at 3:47 with a big knife and 5 dollar mask from pop up Halloween store
She said she wanted a guy that would chase her so...
Yeah but on the first dates you gotta try to impress a little right, don’t want to come off as too poor or cheap (depending on circumstances, 2 students in exact same situation is different than older working adults, for example)
This feels like a capitalistic idea to convince people thay they need to spend money to find a partner or people to be with. Dating can have many forms and you can get to know people in many different places. You don't have to spend a lot of money to talk to people in hobby groups or go take a walk/drink a coffee with someone
If the girl is impressed by how much you can spend on food is it really worth impressing her at all?
Seriously, how the fuck are they measuring this? I just went out with friend to a nice spot downtown and spent about $40 for dinner and 3 drinks
In Seattle land, that's 3 tap waters and two thirds of one entree
Hey, at least the water's good.
Where the fuck are people going out? Dinner and drinks with my wife and kids rarely breaks 100.
depends on the girl/guy, if they are vain, or expect the other to pay for an expensive meal.
Sure… but how many drinks can your kids really put away?
Where do you live? Because in LA it's extremely easy to break the $100 threshold for a single person to eat. That's literally an appetizer, a main course, and a drink or two.
I live in DTLA now. I just spent less than $15 on a burger and a blueberry cider at Glory Burgers.
I swear people have terrible financial skills.
It's all over the place right now.
I can get a meal for wife and girls for $150 at BJs, including a couple of drinks, but when we start straying up it gets above $200 real quick.
Fuck Doordash, I hadn't used it in a while and we briefly considered it this weekend. Priced a meal for 5, from a local Mexican place, no booze, and it was $230.
I used to go out to NYC restaurants frequently and I don't think I've ever spent $100 per person, including drinks. There are some very expensive restaurants out there but unless you're deliberately looking for them, even relatively nice places will have food for $20 to $40 and cocktails for $10 to $15.
(I don't go to the sort of restaurants where you have to dress formally, but then again neither does almost anyone going on a date, unless they're either rich or a celebrity.)
Twenty years ago?
My favorite Thai restaurant has nothing on the menu over $40. Or how about this nice vegan place with nothing over $25? And nothing over $30 at my favorite place in Brighton Beach. I could make a long list - I used to go out to eat two or three times a week. But really, if you walk into pretty much any restaurant where men aren't wearing suits, those are the prices you'll see.
You go to a grocery store. Whoever has the larger bag steals drinks.
You buy a baguette and whoever has the smaller purse steals cheese/hummus.
You eat on a rooftop or golf course at one am, staring out over the city. Me im an analogue tumbler person, so the genders I can date are smoothe talkers and SDR users.
How is dating expensive