this post was submitted on 14 May 2025
829 points (99.2% liked)

Not The Onion

16210 readers
1929 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] NutWrench@lemmy.ml 89 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

“I don’t think people should be taking medical advice from me,” Kennedy said.

Well then, the next questions should be, "what is your job title?" and "what exactly is it that you DO here?"

[–] atzanteol@sh.itjust.works 17 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

Strictly speaking his job is administrative - he's not an expert on health nor does he really need to be. He's a political appointee charged with advising the president and enacting the president's policies. The career bureaucrats and scientists in his employ are the experts.

It is, however, expected that he would at least understand and listen to those teams on what the correct science is and provide feedback from those teams upward to the president to ensure that the president's goals align with good public health policy.

But he's a whackjob conspiracy theorist who has no idea what he's doing.

[–] TheThrillOfTime@lemmy.ml 35 points 10 hours ago

I think that's a great idea, but maybe don't be assigned in charge of health.

[–] 96VXb9ktTjFnRi@feddit.nl 60 points 14 hours ago (3 children)

Thinks people shouldn't take medical advice from him,

...proceeds to give medical advice to people.

[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 hour ago

Becomes head of health

[–] lobut@lemmy.ca 17 points 9 hours ago

Sounds like the Joe Rogan Experience.

[–] turtlesareneat@discuss.online 10 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

"No one listen to what I'm about to say, but eating roadkill possum cures chlamydia."

[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 2 points 9 hours ago (3 children)

But what if I don't have Chlamydia

[–] ziggurat@lemmy.world 5 points 9 hours ago

Then you haven't joined RFK swimming in sewage yet!

[–] killingspark@feddit.org 1 points 9 hours ago

You seem to have skipped step 1: Get chamydia. Please start the instructions from the top

[–] dellish@lemmy.world 1 points 9 hours ago

Then eating roadside possum will cure you of not having something else. Also, have you considered swimming in sewerage?

[–] eugenevdebs@lemmy.dbzer0.com 26 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

I mean, I already am ignoring the medical advice he gives me.

I sadly can't ignore the medical advice he is giving the country as a whole.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 4 points 14 hours ago

So when he says you shouldn't take medical advice from him, you would not listen?

/j

[–] Gates9@sh.itjust.works 52 points 18 hours ago (7 children)

People gotta remember this guy has been as desperate as Trump his whole life to be accepted as a legitimate member of elite society. You factor that in, you factor in that Trump also wanted to be a crime boss like his mob affiliates from the early part of his career, the motives become more clear, the outcomes become more predictable.

Also remember, some of this is engineered by both parties to distract us from the everyday realities we are facing.

Don’t take your eye off the prize. We want a centrally planned economy, we want universal healthcare, we want federally funded infrastructure projects, and we’re gonna take that money from the wealthy.

Beware “abundance” grifters…

[–] gamer@lemm.ee 2 points 8 hours ago

We want a centrally planned economy,

Lmao what? Is this a #JustLemmyThings meme?

[–] p03locke@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Also remember, some of this is engineered by both parties to distract us from the everyday realities we are facing.

Funny how one party seems to push this sort of shit way way more than another party.

Don’t take your eye off the prize. We want a centrally planned economy, we want universal healthcare, we want federally funded infrastructure projects,

I just want a functioning democracy, one with less fascists and corruption in it.

and we’re gonna take that money from the wealthy.

And how are you going to do that? Are you willing to take it by force? Because that's the only way it's going to happen. You have to take it by force.

[–] barneypiccolo@lemm.ee -2 points 8 hours ago (2 children)

And how are you going to do that? Are you willing to take it by force? Because that's the only way it's going to happen. You have to take it by force.

No, we'll take it by legislation and re-writing the tax code, but if they want to hold out, than yes, we'll take it by force, and that will be a LOT worse for them.

[–] barneypiccolo@lemm.ee 3 points 8 hours ago

WTF is wrong with you? Of course I'm not taking it personally, and obviously we wouldn't be taking away billionaire's fortunes under the current regime. There isn't the Congressional votes to pass it, nor would HitlerPig sign it.

IF we manage to take our government back, AND remove the DINO Democrats who are nothing more than Republican-Lites, then we can hopefully have a Congress who will pass legislation authorizing a re-write of the 1974 Tax Code, which baked-in Trickle Down Economics, resulting in an annual $2 Trillion shift of revenue from the middle/working class to the wealthy.

Study: Inequality Robs $2.5 Trillion From U.S. Workers Each Year

'We were shocked:' RAND study uncovers massive income shift to the top 1%

And who would take it? The Democratic government, acting on behalf of the American people. It's not done with guns (or shovels, WTF?), it's done with computers, and law enforcement. Their bank accounts will be frozen and confiscated, and their properties and assets seized and sold at auction, or utilized by the government.

These mechanisms have always been available, the Dems just never used them, while the MAGAs never histate to exploit them as much as possible.

[–] p03locke@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 8 hours ago

You personally? You're going to take it by force?

So, when democracy is dismantled in the next year or two, and it's no longer possible to "take it by legislation" or "re-write the tax code", you personally are going to take it by force?

With what? Do you have a gun? What you are going to take it with? A shovel?

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] CocaineShrimp@lemm.ee 369 points 1 day ago (12 children)

I don't think people should be taking medical advice from me

Right... so why did you take the position of Secretary of Health, again?

The job of Secretary of Health is best suited for an administrator, not a doctor.

[–] conditional_soup@lemm.ee 149 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Exactly. That's like SecDef being like "idk, I'm really not in a position to give military advice". I say that fully aware of the irony, but it's hard to pick a non-busted example since Trump's cabinet is just completely full of "meritocracy".

[–] My_IFAKs___gone@lemmy.world 33 points 1 day ago (2 children)

since Trump's cabinet is just completely full of "~~meritocracy~~".

Mediocrity.

Ha, if only. I wish it could be that rosy :'(

Maybe midiocracy?

[–] _core@sh.itjust.works 16 points 22 hours ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] jontree255@lemmy.world 42 points 1 day ago (1 children)

He took it because he’s a narcissist who’s convinced he’s right about everything because of his last name and his money. Sound familiar?

Trump’s entire cabinet was picked for two reasons: Loyalty To Trump and Pissing Off Anyone Who Doesn’t Kiss Trump’s Ass. RFK fills that second one.

[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 32 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Don't forget he went to Harris and she turned him away, and he went to Trump. Trump "allegedly" gave him the position in exchange for dropping out of the race and endorsing Trump. Which happened directly after.

People claimed at the time that would be illegal as it would fall under quid pro quo.

Edit: had to update it because the timeline was unclear which he went to first. One source reports he went to Trump first, then Harris after. Either way the result was the same. Harris didn't respond, and Trump did. Getting the endorsement

[–] jontree255@lemmy.world 25 points 1 day ago (1 children)

“Illegal” is a word that only applies to poor people.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 44 points 1 day ago

We live in the dumbest timeline.

[–] whoisearth@lemmy.ca 23 points 23 hours ago

For those of us like me that can step back. This timeline is absurdly funny.

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 79 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

So shut the fuck up about it, then.

[–] Franklin@lemmy.ca 31 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

For real, I'd respect the self-awareness if it wasn't preceded by years of non-stop medical misinformation.

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 9 points 19 hours ago

Honestly hoping he gets ball cancer.

[–] Furbag@lemmy.world 22 points 17 hours ago

He doesn't want you to take medical advice from him, but he does want to dictate what kind of medical advice your actual doctor is legally allowed to give you.

[–] jagged_circle@feddit.nl 25 points 19 hours ago

I do.occasionally agree with RFK

[–] Archangel1313@lemm.ee 115 points 1 day ago (6 children)

That's not "sidestepping". That's him straight up admitting he's grossly unqualified for the role he's been given.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 14 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

Then resign your commission, wormbreath

[–] Goretantath@lemm.ee 56 points 1 day ago (3 children)

FUCKING GET HIM OUTA OFFICE NOW!

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] CaptDust@sh.itjust.works 39 points 1 day ago

Woah something I can agree with him about. Maybe we can find common ground here.

[–] Ledericas@lemm.ee 3 points 15 hours ago

its more or less a distraction of the tariffs, and trumps own doge who is run by vought now.

[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 11 points 21 hours ago

Useful idiots; remember that.

The Heritage Foundation is the one enacting the policies. White supremacist billionaires with the idea that they know what's best because.

[–] MeekerThanBeaker@lemmy.world 21 points 1 day ago (4 children)

I wouldn't take ANY advice from him.

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›