Too spicy?
That's is also true of service staff at bars and restaurants.
But what's surprising to me is I learned this is a thing even the staff itself doesn't seem to realize sometimes. There was a cute bartender I saw frequently who was always extremely cheerful and sweet to me, after she moved out of state, one of the other bartenders at the same tavern told me she was into me and was surprised I never said or did anything...
Like, what the actual fuck the universe fucking hates me. Why tell me that after the fact??? To torture me? Holy shit. You guys are working for tips I can't trust that just because you're extra nice to me that you actually like me.
If you are in the service industry and you have a crush on a regular: you have to make the first move, not them. The gendered expectations go out the door. If the regular is the one to make the first move that in of itself is a yellow flag. I'm not saying don't date them they just might be willing to take the risk but they might also be a oblivious narcissist.