this post was submitted on 13 Jun 2026
333 points (99.1% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

40262 readers
3428 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
 
all 32 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 9 points 1 hour ago (1 children)
[–] Allero@lemmy.today 1 points 22 minutes ago

Fixed at last

[–] Allero@lemmy.today 1 points 23 minutes ago

Welcome back, sweetheart!

[–] basxto@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 30 minutes ago (1 children)

lel, my client says it’s your cake day

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 1 points 27 minutes ago

It's because they just made the account.

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 6 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

its a matter of perspective man

[–] HeHoXa@lemmy.zip 1 points 50 seconds ago

The cat's just a lot closer

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 6 points 1 hour ago (2 children)

Fun fact: An average adult elephant weighs more than 32,000 bananas...

Okay, the numbers vary wildly between different species and genders, just eat the fucking bananas and have a good day 🍌

[–] Dojan@pawb.social 1 points 3 minutes ago

And you'd still not get radiation poisoning from that many banananananas.

[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 hour ago (1 children)
[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

Oof, I'm already subscribed there too, but their last post was from 6 months ago.. They need some more activity over there, I just don't have any bananas for photos right now ☹️

I do think it's kinda neat that bananaforscale.info fairly recently added the weight category, it used to be only length conversion.

[–] Eyekaytee@aussie.zone 23 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

welcome back horny lady :)

[–] did_you_find_violets@lemmy.world 23 points 2 hours ago (2 children)

fingers crossed i don't get bullied off the platform again for no reason at all😭

[–] Eyekaytee@aussie.zone 11 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

I don't think that'll happen but I try to drink a teaspoon of cement every day and just have to remember: there will be upvotes, there will be downvotes, at the end of the day, life will go on

β€œEmpty your mind. Be formless, shapeless, like water. You put water into a cup; it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle; it becomes the bottle. You put it into a teapot; it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow, or it can crash. Be water, my friend.” β€” Bruce Lee

that's the meaning of this postπŸ™‚β€β†•οΈ

[–] anton2492@lemmy.nz 2 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

I'm not taking up pitchforks but wtf? missed the memo

[–] foofiepie@lemmy.world 1 points 44 minutes ago

Also ootl. Who/why bother the hornyposter?

[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 4 points 1 hour ago (2 children)

I'll be honest, i'm curious if you're still getting railed by the vietnamese duo you liked so much

[–] did_you_find_violets@lemmy.world 4 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

hahaha, no. the trip ended and we parted ways. and they weren’t Vietnamese, lol. I actually didn’t even fuck any locals while I was traveling, the bodyguard duo kept me dicked down well enough.

I do have a new man now, though, and let’s just say I’m currently living my daddy fantasy. not gonna expand on it for now because I know people on here are gonna flame me for it, lmao.🫣

[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 2 points 37 minutes ago (1 children)

Already can see the AO3 tags [Daddy issues] [Age diference] [Power Imbalance]. I'm really astounded how you move from one to the next so fast. Where i'm from there's not much flexibility in couples. You either make it work with the couple people that's compatible with you on town or you just have to change town if you wanna meet anyone.

[–] did_you_find_violets@lemmy.world 2 points 26 minutes ago

finding men is easy. I could have a new one every day without putting in any effort if I wanted to. besides, I’m not looking for anything serious right now, I’ve just been having fun and enjoying a few flings since my breakup.

[–] LilRed@lemmy.zip 1 points 31 minutes ago

But don't forget that the double penetration railings needed to have parents permission first.

[–] sinextitan@lemmy.world 1 points 59 minutes ago
[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 10 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

I know we shouldn't, but someday we might make cat-sized pet elephants.

[–] WhoIzDisIz@lemmy.today 4 points 2 hours ago

I smell a great new ~~scam~~ business opportunity...!

[–] OrteilGenou@lemmy.world 6 points 2 hours ago

The tiger waits, as the baby elephant draws closer...

[–] Soulphite@reddthat.com 10 points 3 hours ago

You're not real, man.

[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 4 points 2 hours ago

hope you found who had the violets when you were away

[–] WhoIzDisIz@lemmy.today 3 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Why is nobody talking about the elephant staring into the cat's derriere? 🐽

[–] HeHoXa@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 minute ago

It isn't by choice. The cat forced the position

[–] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 5 points 3 hours ago

Thinly veiled Jurassic Park reference