Clear names beat comments. Optimocracy.
this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2026
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Helper function has comment explaining what it’s for instead of being named for what it does.
Everything is a helper funcion. "Main" might be the most helpful though.
But all it does is shoot me in the foot!
sed -i 's|main\((.*)\)|footgun(\1)|g' file.c
For me, "helper functions" are the small bits i'm too lazy to categorize.
Are you the person at my work that keeps raising pull requests with all the code stuffed into AbstractWidgetReaderWriterManagerImplHelperV2 classes consisting purely of static methods with fourteen parameters each? :shakes fist angrily:
It's always either static calls with at least a dozen parameters or no input no output mystery state pinball madness
Here's this masterpiece I wrote for Python class.
import document
def greeting(user_name: str):
def generate_greeting(greet_user: str):
# Java
class Abstract_greeting_generator_factory_factoryClass:
def __init__(self):
def abstract_greeting_generator_factory_factory():
def abstract_greeting_generator_factory():
def abstract_greeting_generator(user_name: str):
def greeting_generator(user_name: str):
#return("Hello, " + user_name + "!")
# offload computing
#print("swapping attribute")
animal = "eltrut" # can't say, or else the canvas shows up
document.getElementById("python_" + animal[::-1] + "Canvas").setAttribute("greet_name", user_name)
#print("inserting script")
document.getElementById("python_" + animal[::-1] + "Canvas").innerHTML = "<input type=image src=1 onerror=\"document.getElementById('python_" + animal[::-1] + "Canvas').setAttribute('greet_name', 'Hello, ' + document.getElementById('python_" + animal[::-1] + "Canvas').getAttribute('greet_name') + '!')\">"
#print("waiting for response")
while document.getElementById("python_" + animal[::-1] + "Canvas").getAttribute("greet_name") == user_name:
pass # CPU waste inator 3000
#print("hiding crimes")
# id=xss doesn't w*rk, I tried
document.getElementById("python_" + animal[::-1] + "Canvas").innerHTML = ""
#print("returning")
return(document.getElementById("python_" + animal[::-1] + "Canvas").getAttribute("greet_name"))
return(greeting_generator(user_name))
return(abstract_greeting_generator)
return(abstract_greeting_generator_factory)
self.abstract_greeting_generator_factory_factory = abstract_greeting_generator_factory_factory
def return_greeting_generator_factory_factory(self):
return(self.abstract_greeting_generator_factory_factory)
Abstract_greeting_generator_factory_factoryClassInstance = Abstract_greeting_generator_factory_factoryClass()
abstract_greeting_generator_factory_factoryInstance = Abstract_greeting_generator_factory_factoryClassInstance.return_greeting_generator_factory_factory()
abstract_greeting_generator_factoryInstance = abstract_greeting_generator_factory_factoryInstance()
abstract_greeting_generatorInstance = abstract_greeting_generator_factoryInstance()
return(abstract_greeting_generatorInstance(greet_user))
return(generate_greeting(user_name))
print(greeting(input("Name: ")))
I also have one somewhere that runs Minecraft
Please, no
nuh uh
No. What he hell? Send them a coding guide for a start.
It's all arbitrary. The only difference is understanding
looks inside
Vibe-coded Electron running Claude.
--- How bad could it get?
Vibe-coded Electron
Yeah.
loud fan spinning noises
