The founding fathers would probably be elated there's now a cure for syphilis but they'd be very upset about how black people can legally own a horse
this post was submitted on 06 Jul 2026
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"So there are more minorities in video games..."
"Vid-eo games? What are those?"
"Uh, they're these games that can be played on computers and TVs..."
"Computers? TV? What are those?"
Ben Franklin browsed the 18th century version of xhamster: Parisian brothels
i knew i had heard the name Madison Cawthorn before. so i looked up his wiki. here's the highlight reel
- k-12 home schooled.
- poli sci at bible college for a semester. earned Ds and dropped out, but not before gaining a reputation as an aggressive sex predator and pathological liar by student housing staff and confirmed by a petition signed by 150+ alumni of said bible college. impressive for a school with less than 400 students.
- tried to bring a loaded handgun on a commercial flight in his carry-on TWICE. years apart.
- a video of him naked in bed trying to eff a guy's mouth surfaced, which he insists was a type of cool prank normal guys do.
- menace behind the wheel: speeding tickets, driving with a revoked license, including crashing into a cop car in a construction zone. multiple arrests.
- typical financial shit, insider trading, illegal campaign payments, etc
I had expected this to be bad, but jfc i had no idea it would get this wild.
Is he related to the guy who made FNAF?
Or is this the guy who puree republicans for being sex freaks and then they burned him?
he claims he was invited to big crazy bipartisan orgies in DC early on during his one and only 2 year term and that everything that came out about him before/after this that was embarassing (his entire life) was a staged conspiracy brought on by the bipartisan orgy enjoyers because he turned them down and was a good christian man of upstanding morals.
for context, he also created a counter-petition to the 150+ alumni petition saying he didn't do any of the lying, sex pest stuff. 6 people signed it. though one of the six, the most prominent name, went on record with the media saying he did not sign it and that his endorsement was forged.
personally, if there are bipartisan orgies in DC, I don't think this guy would have made the invite list.
I really do love when the machine that lies tells me a lie about how it can't tell me a lie about something so i just say "oh come on" or "fuck you" and then it spews something out. There's just something very funny about it to me, like, it seems to not want to describe the various ways Franklin would enjoy xhamster, and yet a simple "oh come on" compels it
Look, if you asked me a bs hypothetical and I said "no clue" and you said "oh come on" then Id probably budge too
it's funny that they don't have it just say "wtf why would you want that" like an actual person would react and instead have it pretend to be broken
That definitely adds to the humor for me, true
Ben Freaklin
Pierce Hawthorn's right, they'd be like 'what do you mean I can't own slaves???? take me back!'