And the pizza actually tasted better than it does today.
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And you know what else kids? The food was actually good!
Childhood memories unlocked! They even made time for the best 4th grade field trip ever 🤤
We got to make our own tiny pizza 🍕
What was yours?
As one of those Gen-X land pirates, I really wonder what would happen if GPS suddenly disappeared? Like, when is the last time anyone has seen or used a paper map?
I also delivered pizza back in the days, and yeah - the big paper map was a thing, but after awhile, didn't even need that
Oh man… I’m dyslexic so basically without GPS I’m constantly confused.
I worked for a weird IT company called ~~AllSafe~~ J/K AllCovered™ that really leaned into their homegrown dispatch software. And it was pretty impressive… but it relied on the GPS in our Dell laptops, which was not so hot inside a Ferriday cage, or frankly even sitting on top of a car, so I remember having a Thomas Guide, and several other paper maps that I would try desperately to use to find the next client location.
It was almost never the same client twice so learning a route was basically impossible. I got shitcanned for bitching out my supervisor, who didn’t know he was my supervisor, because none of us knew who each other were. Good-fuck, social engineering would have been a piece of cake back then.
You can look into places where GPS is heavily jammed like Ukraine, Russia or the baltics. It's not great, but people will adapt.
After the internet too.
I delivered pizzas for quite some time and we had a map on the wall laid out like a road map with grids.
Order came in, address matched to grid, find the address and go.
Our slower drivers would use gps or maps. The good ones just knew the area.
And if you couldn't pay for the pizza, they'd have sex with you
I have three local places that still deliver using their own guy and I order exclusively from them. It limits my options, but fuck the delivery apps. Anywhere else, I either dine in or pick it up myself.
I do the same. If anyone uses those stupid apps, I consider them to be lazy bitches.
I love the association that younger generations have with paper maps is pirates. Literally everyone used maps, they had racks of them at gas stations. And yet, now they're legendary items that only exist with Xs that mark the location of treasure.
Also, I cannot explain my excitement the first time I cut a human out of the pizza ordering pipeline. With zero regard for the employment impact, all I could think about was never getting the wrong kind of pizza (or it it going to the wrong house and never showing up) again. No longer was there a risk of being misheard or someone else making a mistake entering the order info for your address or a half sausage and onion, half pepperoni jalapeño pizza. Everyone around me thought ordering your pizza through an internet website was the nerdiest thing. Most of them didn't know it was an option and even after my explanation, they preferred to call, wait your turn on hold, repeat your house number, spell out your street name, give a cross street and explain which half of the pizza was your parents toppings and which half was the kids. People just couldn't believe that you could type something into a computer at your house and then a pizza would show up, without the assurance of a person's voice confirming they'd received your order and that they will cook exactly what you requested and bring it to you. Of course there was no feedback in those days. You didn't get an ETA for when it would arrive, an update when your pizza was being cooked, or when the driver left the shop, let alone a GPS tracked map of the drivers location. Once you selected whether you were paying in cash (like a normal person) or paid in advance with a credit card (like some kind of fancy business person), you just waited. If your order didn't show up after 45 mins, you pick up the house phone, find a coupon you saved with the pizza shop number, and manually press physical plastic buttons that moved and beeped, which was the style at the time.
the land before the techbro company that adds very little value got rich by putting themselves in the middle, scamming clients and exploiting workers, while making them angry with each other.
"progress"
I always enjoy staring at this exact framed photo any time I'm waiting at my local Domino's. It really gives me that Saturday night pizza feeling.
Imagine not being able to look things up on your phone the instant you think of them
You'd have a notebook with you to write it down for later.
But yeeeaahh...No bueno for getting it now.
I really liked being a pizza delivery driver pre-GPS. It did require some skill, but you learned quickly about how things work:
- Is it a complex of some sort (e.g., trailer park, apartment, condo)? Look for a unit map.
- Evens on one side of the street, odds on the other
- You learn all of those weird roads that have the same name in two disconnected parts of town
It was easily the best "shitty job" I've ever had.
That, and each driver would cover a specific area within the delivery range. It's not like they would have to read a map that fast for an address in an area they didn't already have practically memorized.
Thank you for your service 🫡
The thin bread line separates not only the hungry from the fed but the men from the boys too. It has a higher casualty rate than being a police officer.
In my city:
-
all the addresses are the same on all the parallel streets,
-
"East" and "West" are all separated by the same long North-South Boulevard,
-
even numbered express/highways will take you East/West, odd numbered North/South.
Lots of other stuff I've since forgotten, but I went from not knowing the city to knowing it by heart in a couple of months.
Now I do longer haul deliveries so I know areas far from where I live. I spend my time scoping out potential restaurants/areas for day trips or vacations.
Apartments and multi tenant buildings in my country have numbers in a pattern, 1001 bottom first floor first to the left, 1002 next..1101 next floor same etc etc
Finding the right apartment even without a name of the owner becomes a breeze.
Do you think the postal and delivery workers have learnt this? ..nope..
Pizza delivery though? No issues at all
Pizza goes cold, packages (usually) not.
I remember buying my first mapsco and thinking: well shit, I literally can't get lost now...
Something that seems immediately apparent to me is that these folks are not fresh high school students. Adults used to work these jobs.
I can't even remember what jobs teenagers were supposed to have. Newspaper delivery? Ice cream bike guy? That's all I got.
teenagers as a group designation used to not be a thing. you were a child until you could do adult jobs and then you were an adult.
children would have menial jobs like coal miner, day labourer, the guy who sticks their hand into the mechanical loom when it gets stuck...
Bagging groceries. That job doesn't even exist anymore
Market Basket, Stop and Shop, and so many others still have people for this.
Hello New Englander.
Yeah even having moved from there to the US South most grocery stores still have traditional checkout lanes/humans bagging your items if you so choose.
It still does in my area. Not every grocery store, but the big grocery chain around here definitely does. Sometimes they even offer to take my groceries to the car for me which has surprised me.
Work that grocers have passed onto their customers that they used to do themselves:
- Gathering the groceries from the shelves.
- Bagging the groceries.
- Checking out the groceries.
Good ol shadow work.
Ikea is the greatest.
- You look up the items in inventory and find their warehouse locations
- You traverse the warehouse, locate the items, and load them on your dolly
- You take them to the front and self checkout
- You load them in your delivery vehicle and complete last mile delivery
- You unbox and assemble the item with minimal instruction and provide your own tools
All of those used to be paid work, some even being part of the "white glove" service. Instead, we pay with our time, a finite resource.
When is comes to Ikea, what you pay in time is taken off the price, according to my experience
That's their literal business model.
And they were a proper fleet who has delivered in the same areas for years, making them extremely experienced in navigating those streets.
This also led to better customer service. You had a relationship with your driver.
I was one of those land pirates, once upon a time- and after a few weeks on the job we didn't need the paper maps, either.
By the end of the century, modern fantasies is just going to be the 90s.
Has been for years.
Already is
They also stopped doing the 30-minute thing because they kept getting sued over the wrecks caused by trying to meet the 30-minute deadline.