Action: Eat the devil's corn
Positive: You will choke on his cob
Negative: The church will slut shame you for it
this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2026
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The cob contains potassium benzoate.
Uh
Oh look. A Free Will church literally telling you what to do.
To be fair, they're not actually telling you what to do, just telling you what they think the consequence of a certain action will be.
That's the fun part about language, it doesn't have to be logical in the slightest. I can say red is blue all day every day without issue beyond that it's logically inconsistent.
I wonder if it's near the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.
Ive seen people eat corn by rotating it and bitting kernels off the side, I've seen people stand corn up on a plate and cut kernels off with a knife.
I've never seen anyone deep throat a corn cob while trying to literally suck the kernels off, which seems like the only possible way to "choke on the cob."
These church people just seem deeply confused about how corn works.
These church people just seem deeply confused about how corn works.
Look, confused or not, they're defo more fun at parties than we are, that's for sure
This is what happens when you give the Baptist free will.
Don't threaten me with a good time.
If marijuana is the devil's lettuce, then what is the devil's corn?
Still Marijuana. It's potcorn
Sounds cornographic.
...hog.. I mean cob...
DID SOMEBODY MENTION HOGS!? AROOOOOOO!!
CRANK THEM COBS BROTHER
Slob that cob knob
Hawt
At first I thought the shadow was Trump.
The title and the post together make it sound like you're saying your neighbor is the devil.
Not with a cob like his
Sounds like a kink
😏
So why would the Baptists' corn behave differently?
/forward => comparisons-that-make-no-sense-at-all