FatTony

joined 2 years ago
[–] FatTony@lemm.ee 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It's only fun if it's appreciated by the other party, though.

[–] FatTony@lemm.ee 2 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Cute. Thanks for sharing.

[–] FatTony@lemm.ee 0 points 5 months ago

Hey now, I am not AI. I am a real human.

[–] FatTony@lemm.ee 2 points 5 months ago (2 children)

But your SO did like you in all that time?

[–] FatTony@lemm.ee 1 points 5 months ago (5 children)

Quick follow up question: What is your idea of flirting?

[–] FatTony@lemm.ee 0 points 5 months ago (1 children)

My question isn't so much about whether it's good or not. It's about whether it's generally necessary.

[–] FatTony@lemm.ee 7 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Perhaps we have different ideas on what flirting is

I think we do. I see flirting as banter to make sexual/romantic intentions known.

but to me, its the things you do to build a connection (talking, joking, hanging out, etc).

How is that different from making friends though? I mean that's exactly what I do with friends and basically anyone.

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submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by FatTony@lemm.ee to c/nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
 

Does it actually matter whether you flirt with someone or not in order for them to (potentially) develop feelings for you? A lot of people have told me it's intrinsic, as in "If they like you, they like you." So you should just treat the person you're interested in like you would any other person.

So if it all comes down to connection and looks, doesn't that make flirting a bit redundant?

Edit: To clarify, I see flirting as banter to make sexual/romantic intentions known.

[–] FatTony@lemm.ee 4 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (4 children)

Where am I supposed to get a hamster wheel??

Also, I feel like at that last stage we may as well just remain friends.

[–] FatTony@lemm.ee 1 points 6 months ago (2 children)

“that’s all fine but I genuinely begin to develop feelings for her” and “I just don’t really care all that much for a friendship”.

Okay I may have not worded it very well there. What I mean is that I don't want to be in this "friendzone" any more. I really don't and I don't see myself being happy remaining as such.

[–] FatTony@lemm.ee 4 points 6 months ago (2 children)

It's nothing about her not being good enough. It's my own feelings that are in the way.

 

There is this girl I like, she knows I would like to go on a date with her someday. She isn't sure what she wants at the moment. That's all fine but I genuinely begin to develop feelings for her. And I just don't really care all that much for a friendship anymore. It screws with my psyche, it's like only being allowed to smell a fine wine instead of drinking it. (bad analogy, but fuck it)

I've had enough. I just want to tell her I don't like seeing her on just a friendship level any more. And if she doesn't see me as a romantic partner, which is totally A-okay fine with me, but it will mean I'm walking away from this friendship all together. At the same time I don't want to force her to make a decision (she sometimes has trouble saying no). And here's the real son of a gun, she is highly suicidal and takes endings of friendship badly (as she herself has said).

So does anyone have any advice to spare here? Yes, I'm a terrible person so think of it for her sake. Because the friendship is going to end, one way or the other.

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