I think what you're not picking up on is the whole Ms. Moos vibe on CNN. She is basically satire. She always jumps on the most outrageous stories and narrates them in that annoying pseudo journalistic voice and has done for decades. The stories may be actually true but you should never assume that they are. They are a knock knock joke for people who watch 24h news channels.
I don't know anything about this case more than having watched the CNN video. Mr. Fir-lung and his doctor needn't be actors. He could've really had it in his lung but played up the "haha, maybe I breathed in a seed" line because it got him attention on TV and paid interviews. And he doesn't mention how he was in a landslide being chased by a bear 5 years ago and that's when he accidentally inhaled the debris. The doctor may just have mentioned in a subordinate clause that it looked as if the sprig was growing in the lung but never actually claimed it did. Or he also believes in homeopathy. Or he also got paid for the interview. There are a thousand explanations why we get presented the story like that. But the biggest red flag remains that Jeanne Moos was reporting on it.
It's difficult 2 transpose what u can do in English just 2 other languages written in the Latin alphabet for centuries. English has a remarkable and quite confusing amount of homophones that is absent from other indoeuropean languages. The apostrophe as a letter skipped marker is fairly universal. But beyond that it's already a different ball game in other more similar languages. 2 to too, 4 for, r u - that's very English only.
Simplified Chinese characters are a hint at what they did on the Chinese mainland to cut down on writing time. Beyond that (and I don't speak the language so π§) there are single character abbreviations for countries. ηΎε½ is America and ηΎ suffices as shorthand, which means beauty otherwise. Your example phrase is "R u coming 2nite?" In English we use the present progressive tense here, which doesn't exist like that in Mandarin. It would be phrased as "Come tonight?" The question mark could be replaced with the character that functions as a question marker by itself. And I think you can do this in 3-4 characters and I think they might just beat you to it in a bilingual texting competition in terms of speed.
The mainland population may also be more adept to obfuscate their speech especially online. So similarly pronounced character combinations take over the meaning of a term the censors are actively looking for.
The Japanese like shortening stuff, mostly loanwords, to unrecognizable words. The word for part time work is γ’γ«γγ€γ (arubaito) taken from the German for work (Arbeit). Cool kids have whittled it down to baito. A remote control has become a γͺγ’γ³γ³ (rimokon) in normal parlance. Overly long Chinese character combos like θͺεθ²©ε£²ζ© for a vending machine get shortened to θͺθ²©ζ© dropping characters that can be inferred (if you speak it).
I also want to add that text speak is heavily influenced by restrictions on text length and charges for each text. Non Latin script characters take up more than one Latin character per Chinese character for instance. It's probably 5+ in decoding per character. So you reach 160 letters quite quickly and that's why SMS in China was very cheap and quickly adopted a system where message threads would be sent and put back together on the recipient's phone. In Japan they used email from the start, even in dumb phone T9 texting days. They had no Twitter-like restrictions on text length so they didn't need to be shorter than what their thumbs could successfully fumble together.