My dad used to dress up as Piccolo from dbz and beat me in my sleep with his custom made ocarina when I was 22 years old. It always pissed me off because he would call it his piccolo but it wasn't a goddamn flute it was an ocarina. So when he died 4 years ago I dressed up as Piccolo at his funeral and beat his corpse with that same ocarina. Everyone gave me a standing ovation and clapped so hard a few attendees dislocated their wrists, one even degloved their hand. So when the paramedics came I told them my dad died.
MacaqueAndCheese
joined 1 year ago
The strait of Hormuz is a McDonald's ice cream machine.
Fun fact: Jackie Chan's parents named him that because his dad ran a porn website similar to 4chan called Jacky Chan in the 1950s before anyone even knew the Internet was possible. Truly a family ahead of the times. It's a shame he went on to be a successful movie star.
It's real, I've met all of Obama's dads and they really do call him the cigarette crab. I don't think he's ever been to Japan and I don't understand why the owner called him Mr President though because he's never been president.
Epstein used to inject mustard into his urethra and then jack off and call it mustard custard. He'd feed it to his guests, it was awful for the 7 years I was held captive there.