One of the turning points for me was to stop putting myself last and to instead put myself first.
This is actually great advice. I've started to notice that I have ended up in a mental place where I'm constantly beating myself up and disregarding my own needs and feelings because "I'm the one who's wrong" and so I feel like I'm not allowed to complain about anything. It's not helpful at all.
Thank you, I appreciate your suggestions :) I'm on meds, yes, and I think it has helped a bit but not as much as I had hoped it would.
I'm sorry to hear that. Having ADHD is a struggle but being the partner of someone with ADHD is extremely exhausting as well. I think there should be support groups for partners of ADHD-people.
Thank you so much :) I have in fact started to set reminders and alarms for things I need to do and it works well. My problem is rather to become aware of things that will need to be taken care of soon or being attentive enough to notice when something needs to be done, you know?
Thank you for your kind words <3 <3 <3
Thank you <3 I don't think my wife necessarily wants me to function like I don't have adhd but I still often have a shitty way of handling it when I fuck up.
Yeah but the problem is I often fuck up my responsibilities :(
Yeah I agree. There are things I need to personally work on but our relationship has been damaged so much, if (and that's a big if) there's still hope for a future together I think we will definitely need couples therapy to get us back to a place of mutual trust and joy.
Thank you so much! Yeah I often forget that and only see all the things I haven't achieved yet.
Thank you so much, I appreciate it!
Yeah, I.... I try to remind myself that I can't change the past. I should have done something sooner but also I have ADHD and I don't mean it as an excuse but that's the whole problem with ADHD.
We definitely need space from each other right now and... I don't know, I'm both incredibly sad but also if we really can't make each other happy anymore than that's a fact I need to accept.
Wow, what you wrote hit really close to home as well.
My wife had a very difficult childhood and unfortunately me having ADHD not being attentive enough triggers her personal trauma. We are a perfect match in many ways but in this aspect we are a terrible combination, our personal histories make everything so much harder.
Thank you so much for your words and I'm sorry you're going through such a hard thing yourself <3
I have a job, and fortunately one that I'm actually really good at. I participate in chores but the problem is more like.... being aware of "the bigger picture", so to speak. Like, when we're looking for / moving into a new apartment: All the things that will need to be done in the process and doing them in time. Thinking and planning ahead.