erinmeow

nah, its random, but sensory stress can be(autistic) i think its due cptsd body armoring

nah not common, idk no specific diet but i avoid meals, triggers ughghh whole body muscle hypertensions (antipsychotic past sadly)

i realized that i never had really productive days in my life

yuh i had this idea w patches

reeeeeeeaaalll, huuuuh for me there a lot of bullying from childhood, weirdness, feeeling of 3rd sort, feeeling veryyyyy disable etc etc etc, trouble understanding ppl, trouble properly socializing with ppl (sometimes pretty failed), trouble in school, delayed development(?) etc etc etc

i am AuDHD soooo huuuuh adhd making tasks terrible, the system, basically there a lot things which i as always forgetting when saying

there doc's are faschists they usually claiming schizotypal disorder on me(hopeeeeefully it not leaked to psychiatry database i got blank harmless diagnosis in psych ward thank you mom)

but there a correct answer is autism, especially having weirdness from 0 yo

alsoooo hooow stereotypical i am trans girl toooo huuuuuuh but it doesnt make my life harder since i already neurodivergent and hopefully luck to start hrt early

sertraline shoudnt

bupropion can but lottery huuuuuuh, but https://novayagazeta.ru/articles/2020/02/21/84021-vo-vsem-mire-prinimayut-bupropion-v-rossii-net is insanely dangerous to order substances which banned

by logic russian FSB can mention it at customs then arrive to postal office "normally" then they will ask passport even on inside country packages - voala you get raped by govrenment

caffeine is interesting idea hehehe

vpn to buy vpn

vpn to open website which doesnt work to get access denied message bacause hostings IPs are blacklisted often

waow right russia, hmmm i think phenibut can help but assholes made it prescribtion but hopefully is simple prescribtion, it low toxicitity

logically it can increase dopamine activity

hmmmmm seeems like piracetam is w/o prescribtion but idk how good it is

i also take SSRI (sertraline) idk seems placebo for me, but there possibility that i get wkrse if get off basically psychomeds didnt help me at all (i was on lurasidone/valproate before, dumb psyches tried schizophrenia treatment because i trans, but hopefully i get out from this and IT A LOOOOOOOOT MUCH MORE BETTER), hrt is basically made me happy again and even feel better than in childhood, also did much better for ADHD stuff and social interactions, and EMOOOTIONS

hehehe moderating mood helps

also my sensory shit distract on muscle tension sooo much

i literally sayed that to my psych - "it looks normal!" but it getting me insanely feel bad hehe

tried scheme

• mention TMJ problem to get muscle relaxant
• stupid psych sent me to orthodentist
• orthodentist confirmed said muscle relaxants
• sent message to stupid psych
• get fucking tolperisone recommendation aka very expensive underresearched east bloc shit, when i saw the message i wanted say "fuck you" to psych but instead listened
• get much much worse for days after one pill
• said is shit and psych send me to neurologist (dumb) im not billionaire paying for another stupid neurologist and the free one has major waitlists since i still on pediatrican care until 18
• self medicate again using tizanidine which i wanted from the start (hopefully i got it w/o prescribtion)
• holy its cheap and worked from one pill after some hours!!!
• continued, feeling aaa looooot more comfy in own skin less distracted and happy!

the fun that similar structure clonidine can be used for ADHD stuff

russia is asshole which thinks ADHD is western fake disease, which only possible in childhood and doesnt have in adults etc etc

all stimulative, dopaminergenic meds are banned either very very very strong controlled

okay i can live with this but is teeeeerrible, the worst is education/work/exams, and here im insanely "dumb" in other ppl view , basically i dont think i do united govr exam, next year, then college/uni will be much more awful for me i cant i cant just cant i hate society made for NTs, work? low paid maybe possible

more worst is unability to get out from this asshole country