I don't think they can be force applied to everyone who contributes
This is certainly an opinion, but here is a list of major projects that have a code of conduct: https://opensourceconduct.com/projects . How well those projects enforce their CoCs, idk. But they are applied, otherwise they wouldn't bother writing out a CoC.
it's not fair to hold people to standards they didn't personally agree to
Software development is not the only place which holds people to standards. The realm of criminal and civil law, education, and business all hold people to standards, whether those people like it or not. In fact, it's hard to think of any realm that allows opt-out for standards, barring the incel-ridden corners of the web.
this guy might have just decided to make a project
Starting any project -- as in, inviting other people to join in -- is distinct from just publishing a public Git repo. I too can just post my random pet projects to Codeberg, but that does not mean I will necessarily accept PRs or bug reports, let alone even responding to those. But to actually announce something, that where the project begins. And to do so recklessly does reflect poorly upon the maintainer.
Please make sure to read what considerations that developer had before undertaking that effort using an LLM: https://github.com/Aquantia/aqtion-freebsd/issues/32#issuecomment-3997341698
Specifically, they (the human) were kept in the loop for the entire process, which included referencing the working Linux driver to do a clean-room reimplementation. This already means they have some experience with software engineering to spot any issues in the specifications that the LLM might generate.
Also, Aquantia (before the merger) already had a published FreeBSD driver but it hasn't been updated. So this port wouldn't have to start from zero, but would be a matter of addition support for new NICs that have been released since, but Aquatia hadn't updated the driver.
This is very much not an example of an Ethernet NIC driver being "vibe coded" from scratch, but a seasoned engineer porting Linux support over to FreeBSD, a kernel that already has a lot of support for easily adding new drivers in a fairly safe manner, and then undertaking a test plan to make sure the changes wouldn't be abject slop. That's someone using their tools with reasonable care. In the industry, this is called engineering.
Admiration for what people can do with the right tools must always be put into the right context. Even with the finest tools, it's likely that neither you nor I could build a cathedral.