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Well, tough luck.
But to be more constructive: large cities will be fine. As a (not-trans?) lesbian you also kind of won the "how much do people hate me for who I am" lottery, as in: you're probably in the least (but still) hated LGBTQ demographic.
I would expect the countries you mentioned to be the 'same' when it comes to stuff like cost of living, salary (more dependent on the region of the country, i.e. in the south of Italy or in the east of Germany salaries are waaay lower). So it might depend on other factors. I would consider e.g. climate and weather: warm and long summers are your thing? Italy.
Another factor could be: how much do you plan to travel? Best connections for Central and Western Europe in Germany, for Eastern Europe and the Balkans in Austria.
You like snow in the winter and maybe skiing? Austria or northern Italy. Generally mountaineer? Austria (or northern Italy).
You want to be close to the sea for windy water sports? North Poland, North-East Germany. Like beaches and sunshine better? Italy it is again.
Good food? Austria or Italy.
You want to see a powerful country in decline and taking whole Europe with them? Germany. You want to witness Russian aggression? Poland. OK, I am leaving the seriousness behind, but you get the gist of what I am writing...what are you looking for in specific?
Oh, and who needs the most English teaching? France, but they don't want to be taught, so there's that.
I will try Italy or Austria then. Yeah, my Polish aunt HATES Russians and Russia and I heard people can't even mention Russia or being Russian in some Polish online communities. Italy will probably be easier but I think Austria is closer to Poland without it being such a hard language, so...