this post was submitted on 07 Jan 2026
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No Stupid Questions

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I see this on Imgur and Bluesky as well. Here's a great example, and the one that prompted me to finally ask. My daughter has autism and ADHD. She takes speed to slow down. Best friend is ADHD, same deal. But they're basically "normal" people. I'm truly sorry is this comes off as insensitive.

  • It's normal to be aware of how people perceive us. We are apes. Need I elaborate?

  • We ALL mess up more when someone is watching. Forget the word, but it's a well-known psychological tic.

  • Yes, we all conform and hide parts of ourselves in public, doesn't mean you can't "be yourself". Want to see someone who doesn't mask at all? Trump.

  • If you're not aware of threats, Darwin would like a word. And yes, many things we perceive as threats are dumb monkey perceptions. We're all silly in this way.

  • Uh, I double check my door locks. Not paranoid, but my situation in America makes that a simple, smart move. Some people live around lots of strangers, checking your private space is a normal thing.

  • We all hate being stared at. That's a monkey threat. We evolved that way.

The "suspicious sounds" thing is the only part I'd pick out as a bit strange. But who hasn't jumped when the ice maker kicks in? I've often thought someone crawled in the dog door. (A bear did one time, a hybrid wolf another, so let me slide on that one.)

I can go on /c/autism and pick 100 other memes for examples. Almost every single thing I see there, "Yeah, we all go though that/feel that way/do that thing." Here's one:

https://piefed.cdn.blahaj.zone/posts/6k/Lb/6kLbDigyQuftk4k.jpg

Doesn't everyone do that now and again?! I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

Serious questions:

  • Does lemmy have an above normal number of autistic/ADHD people?

  • Is this perception a way for young people to feel special and different?

  • Maybe young people don't realize just how fucking weird growing up is and think they have a problem?

  • Do people not realize that even after adulthood, we all have weird foibles?

  • Are people so socially isolated that they think their weird thoughts are uncommon?

Just want to start the discussion. Help me understand.

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[–] Junkers_Klunker@feddit.dk 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Everybody pees once in a while but if you do it 20 times a day something might be wrong. Every ADHD/‘tism/bipolar trait is experienced by neurotypical people, but not to the degree someone with an actual diagnosis do.

[–] NotANumber@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I am not so sure that's actually true for all traits. Certainly I don't think most people have any kind of eye contact aversion. Likewise many people very much do not have alexithymia.

[–] Junkers_Klunker@feddit.dk 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You might be right, what I wrote is what I usually say to the people who dismiss any neurospicy person because “EvErYbOdY dOeS tHaT”

[–] NotANumber@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 day ago

Yeah fair enough. It is one of the often repeated things. There are some things it just doesn't really apply to.

[–] MotoAsh@piefed.social 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I don't agree. In wild animals, eye contact is often a bad thing because it can be viewed as a challenge. Similarly, "staring down" someone is very much a bad thing. Similarly, when someone is embarassed or ashamed/etc, they're much less likely to make eye contact. There are many natural moments when "normal" people don't like eye contact or don't feel like making it.

Similarly, I think most people grossly underestimate their emotional acuity. Just look at how many people fall into the, "I'm an empath" meme, or at how many people don't actually understand consent. OFC someone that doesn't like to watch peoples' faces would be a bit slower to pick up on cues than normal, but 'normal' isn't exactly a perfect record!

(yes I know for many autistic people it goes beyond simply being slow to pick up on things, but hopefully I've still illustrated my point about it genuinely being a spectrum that does indeed touch 'normal', and that 'normal' is its own spectrum.)