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Opnsense is not my forte, but I do run it's counterpart pFsense. I use Tailscale as an overlay VPN on both the server and on my standalone pfsense firewall as a pFsense package. Is there a reason you don't want Opnsense firewall via tailscale? My set up is as follows:
modem --->wireless router ---> managed switch ---> pFsense with Tailscale overlay ---> server (separate VLAN) with Tailscale overlay
It doesn't make sense to me to expose it to the tailnet even with ACL, on opnsense there is a bug where it would request re-authentication on each restart so that's an added negative for me when it comes to adding it.
But what exactly do I benefit from adding the firewall directly part of the tailnet? It's kinda weird when you think about it, this bad boy is the highest tier device where internet comes from and having it to connect to my homelab that depends on it for internet and having the firewall depend on the homelab for tailscale
Protection of the firewall via it's overlay VPN characteristics, and communication to the server behind the firewall via an encrypted tunnel.
Have you considered using Cloudflare Tunnels/Zero Trust? With Cloudflare Tunnels/Zero trust, you don't need to open or close ports, fiddle with NAT, or any of that. You install it on your server, connect to Cloudflare, it punches a hole for the encrypted tunnel. I personally use Cloudflare Tunnels/Zero Trust. Their free tier is quite generous and has many options like Anti-AI scrapers, etc. The caveat to using Cloudflare Tunnels/Zero Trust is that you have to have a domain name that you can edit the nameservers thereof to Cloudflare's assigned nameservers for obvious reasons. Cloudflare will sell you a domain name, but a lot of people just get a cheapy from NamesCheap or Pork Bun. I got one for less than $5 USD that renews at $15 USD annually.
So, in the scenario that I described in my first response:
modem —>wireless router —> managed switch —> pFsense with Tailscale overlay —> server (separate VLAN) with Tailscale overlay
.....is all done through Cloudflare Tunnels/Zero Trust with Tailscale on the server and Tailscale on the standalone pFsense firewall as an overlay VPN protection. Additionally, Tailscale makes for a very secure, emergency 'backdoor' to your server should you ever screw up and lock yourself out.
I'll have to defer to someone more experienced with Opnsense.