this post was submitted on 16 Mar 2026
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Can you guys suggest some reliable and secure selfhosted IM service? I'm kinda in a very bad spot right now, so any centralized messaging wouldn't really work. And yeah, state sponsored mass surveillance is a question of concern. Sorry for odd phrasing, just really at a loss.

I heard of matrix, XMPP (heard good things about snikket.org), SimpleX and even some IRC wizardry over TOR. And I actually tried matrix (synapse server), but found it not reliable enough - sometimes skips a notification, periodic troubles with logging in, weird lack of voice calls on mobile client, and some other irritating, tiny hiccups. I'm open to any suggestion, really, even open to trying matrix once again. Just, please, describe why you think one option is better than the other.

And just FYI, use case is simply texting with friends and family, while avoiding state monitoring. Nothing nefarious

Update: Thank you, everyone! After some discussions with the lads, we decided to use XMPP (Prosody) as our main server, we also chose to use DeltaChat as a fallback. Both working great for a couple of days now. Again, thank you, everyone, for suggestions (and configs :) ), really helped me out

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[โ€“] ServeTheBeam@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Gamers Nexus posted a video recently about Discord alternatives.

https://youtu.be/kpjcmXbmMVM

[โ€“] N0cT4rtle@lemmy.zip 1 points 3 months ago

That was a great video actually. I thought that Zuli was kinda cool, shame it's a paid service. Not that I mind paying, just quite literally can't. Funnily enough, they hit the same issue with broken voice calls on mobile Element client