this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2026
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ADHD
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The grief is honestly one of my biggest fears with starting medication. I don't want to face that my life could have been so much better.
Of course that's not a good reason to not seek help logically, but damn if those built in guilt trips and shame aren't incredibly strong.
I had a similar fear after trying all the different meds to only feel worse. So I feared wasting years, going on a rollercoaster only to feel worse. But I thought fuck it, I'm only getting worse, codeine and vodka binging, let's try another medication one more time and that worked.
I feel ya on that. I'm telling myself that while I could have had many years of better functionality, I still lived life and had good experiences and lived. Now I'm ultra living and all of that time non medicated needed to happen to finally bring me here. It's just day 3 for me so super early but the grief is like "mehhh".
It could also be that I'm super emotionally regulated now so the pain of grief is like a flick instead of a kick in the gut :)
The best time to plant a tree is 30 year ago, the second best time is right now.
I did it, I was at peace with the grief after maybe a week. Or at least it wasn't my biggest problem any more.
Yeah I'm in the process of finding a psychiatrist now. It's just been difficult fighting my own built-in reluctance.
Thanks :)
My issue was more "getting help with ADHD requires you to fight the effects of ADHD to get appointments and referrals"
In the UK it was impossible. In the Netherlands, the system is more caring.
Don't feel grief for this time a year from now.
It does no good to look at what could have been. I was diagnosed well into adulthood and I could very easily spiral on the what ifs. Every previous possible me would not be the same me that I currently am so I only concern myself with what I do, not what some other person would do
Don’t let it hold you back, it’s worth it. Grief is a part of growth.