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What do you need a volume slider on your toaster for I'm going to kick your nerd ass!!
(hexbear.net)
this post was submitted on 02 May 2026
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I will cook everything over an open fire before allowing any appliance with an operating system to tarnish my sight.
Smart fire alarms that go off if they detect a particulate emitted from anything that isn't emitted by a whitelisted IOT home appliance or approved emmiter
You have to fart into the smart reader so it can calibrate your bumprint, otherwise it gets set off every time you toot
Cooking over an open fire isn't all that bad, actually, you can do most things pretty easily with a rocket stove and cast iron.
You won't be making toffee, but you will be able to cover any pan temperature range from 250 to 500 F.
I've done it plenty before. The biggest issue is needing to be outdoors