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And when you tell them how watching (typically) men get sweaty, musky, dirty and aggressive, chasing a ball (or rubbing their half-naked bodies together with one another), how that has some 'similarities' to gay porn, how they get really defensive and insecure.
'N-no, you got it all wrong, I'm not gay! I just like watching athletic men get rough with one another, all pent up, sweaty, needy... I mean uh... Oh yeah, sports! It's so un-gay, it's like, looping around itself, with ungayness!'
'So it's like canceling the un part out?'
'Exactly! Wait a minute...'
Don't like sports but have never been a fan of this take. It feels indirectly homophobic (in that you're saying something that you know is not sexual in nature is gay because you know the other person will view it as a negative or bad thing) and would probably not be taken as much of a joke if it were, say, a gay man watching women's volleyball and their straight friends harassing him about actually being straight.
Just my two cents, I'm sure it's fine in the right circles.
I mean, I guess I can see that, but uh... leans over, whispering being forced on a field during phys ed with a bunch of other teenage guys who's hormones are also raging can, shall we say, awaken things.
So it's not a 'haha, gay' but a '😏 gay' nudge at others, who are themselves usually - in my experience - either at the end of the spectrum: neutral to the thought, or deeply in denial.
The games make no sense to me - what's the point, ya know? But if I know that I feel a certain way about a guy's bulge or body, I know I'm 110% not the only one. Voicing the truth can be amusing :3
I really enjoy watching men’s sports with straight men for exactly this reason. We’ll sit around and they’ll talk about how such and such a man spent so much time in the weight room, and he’s been putting on muscle, and he’s low to the ground and explosive, and it’s like, dude you are clearly talking about how bro is caked up from doing squats all offseason, how do you not realize how extremely homoerotic this whole discussion is? I find it cute how flummoxed they get about it when you say something about how the player’s looking cute in those shorts or whatever, but it’s also fun to head down to the women’s sports bars and see the lesbians get all flustered about the women’s sports teams. It’s very different because the women’s sports fans are generally much more willing to be open and honest about how such and such player is so cute or hot or however, and it’s less… lecherous? objectifying? than the men’s fans. It’s a pretty stark cultural difference that enjoy seeing in different fandoms.
Team sports is an expression of latent tribalism in many of us. Might be why you don’t see it.
And most fans of a sport have played it in their youth, so there’s unexpressed longing for lost youth.
It starts as something socialized with your male role models, spreads to your peers at school — and eventually is just another ritual that you can find comfort in via its seasonal predictability — there’s always another game to be played.
Grid iron football is indeed rather homoerotic, but … let’s say ice hockey?
Plenty of gay men playing these big, manly, homoerotic sports, and having a grand time!
Most of em are just a little quiet about it, for obvious gay panic reasons. That's less of a problem as time goes on, but still.
Those ice hockey girlies in the pwhl be kissing on each other and getting married there's no way you can convince me it isn't homoerotic.
But that’s all off ice gaysex
For me it's the utter pointless of it. Can this collection of humans push the ball past the other collection of humans? About as relevant as which mouse gets a bit of cheese. Why would I watch or care about the outcome, much less less the second-by-second details of how it came to be?
Wow, that guy throws a ball really really well. Huh, whaddyaknow.
To be fair, the same could be said of all games.
I hope you've had fun playing a game before, and if so, can at least imagine that it would be interesting to watch top level players of that game accomplish what you couldn't.
The biggest difference I see with sports is the level of obsession over the game and the assumption that every masculine presenting person shares that obsession.
I think that's one of my favorite aspects. As I've gotten older, it's hard to find low-stakes social encounters to hang out with my friends. The local women's soccer team is doing well in the champions league is a good excuse to head out to sit in the summer sun on a wednesday night by the sound.
Bro doesn't know what fun is
But my collection of humans hails from a point geographically closer to me than the other collection of humans!