this post was submitted on 08 May 2026
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Late Stage Capitalism
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Too slow, and too expensive. And, as others pointed out, not environmentally friendly. Also, once they're dead, it's just making more mess to clean up. Also also, we miss the spectacle of the head being held up, and the potential to see the head blink or move the eyes just before death, and the noise would compete with the cheers of the crowd.
I vote for the cheap and reliable guillotine, which can be built by any handyman with a trip to a lumber yard. Line them up, read out their crimes and keep them moving. They just roll down a ramp into a mass grave, toss the head in after the body. Bury them, and build a solar farm on top.
I vote for a big guillotine, but instead of cutting the head off, it cuts them in half along their spine. Oh, and the blade is angled so it starts with the ass. Also, this one goes slowly instead of dropping really fast.
I'm not for any sort of humane solution here. Any human rights advocate in this place.
Leave immediately.
Hear me out though, feet first
You wouldn't use one of these, you'd use one of the municipal grade ones that can take 8" branches. Your city already has them, they're powerful, and close at hand.
That's the important part;
IT MUST BE SLOW.