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It's simultaneously the shortest lifespan of any electronics I've ever purchased while also being the most expensive, by a considerable margin. Not a great combo no matter how you attempt to spin it.
On what evidence were you basing your assumption it'd last longer than 7 years specifically for development? Seems like 7 years is what would've been expected when you bought it and what can be expected now.
WTF. Do you work for Apple? What EVIDENCE do I have that I expected my hardware that I bought for over $3,000 to continue functioning until it died? My evidence is my experience with every piece of electronics I have ever owned from every other manufacturer up until that point.
I can still connect to Xbox Live on my Xbox 360, giving it a lifespan, so far, of 21 years.
Knowing what can be expected from Apple is exactly why I won't ever buy an Apple product again, and warn anyone who mentions them that they're buying a ticking time bomb and Apple holds the donator, which they will use for the explicit purpose of extracting more money from people, even while the hardware is still working.
Apple is also the ONLY company that charges an annual fee on TOP of their exorbitant hardware costs for the ability to develop apps for their hardware. They're also the ONLY company that demands you own their brand of hardware to publish apps. Google doesn't force developers to use a Chromebook to publish Android apps, and Microsoft doesn't force developers to use a Windows machine to publish Windows apps. Samsung doesn't demand you develop apps for the Samsung marketplace on a Samsung device.
This is literally only an issue with Apple, and it's entirely of their own creation. Apple is unrestricted and blatant in their greed, and I've learned they're not shy about it at all. I no longer participate in any of their ecosystems and never will again.
You're defining "useful lifespan" of the Apple very differently than the Xbox. You're defining the Apple by how long development tools are supported, and while that is a valid criticism, it is the same duration today as it was when you bought the laptop. By the metric you're judging the Xbox, the MacBook Pro can connect to the internet, can run programs, and can connect to Apple's consumer services the same as it ever could. Its life as a consumer device is far from over. I'm typing this on my pre-retina 2012 MacBook Pro (running Linux).
You've said the machines "sole purpose" was development, yet you chose upgrades not essential to that process; the absolute fastest chip at the time and a larger SSD are arguably not necessary for the machine's "sole purpose." And the expected lifespan of the machine by that metric is no different today than when you bought it. Hate to put too fine a point on it, but you choose to overspend on a tool and are upset that the tool didn't ROI your inflated expectation.
Apple's decision to require a Mac for development and "only" supporting for seven years is absolutely worthy of critique. But it's also been consistent, and I'm sorry you didn't factor that in when you bought the machine. Sounds like you're done developing for iOS; I don't blame you. But if you decided otherwise, you can get into a development machine for probably not too much more than what you can sell your 2019 MacBook Pro for. Mac mini (if you can find one) and even the Neo will run absolutely hog wild over the performance of your MBP.
The fact is this was my first, and now only, ever experience with Apple. I've never had development locked to the whims of a third party before. I had no idea they had the ability to lock me out of using it because the entire idea is absurd. The reason the analogy is not perfect is that no other company requires you to buy a new piece of their hardware every seven years to develop. I purchased for Apple the same way I buy the rest of my hardware: buy powerful hardware so it lasts a long time without needing to upgrade.
This is a problem entirely of Apple's own making, exclusive to only Apple, and it's a problem designed specifically to extract more money from people. That's why it was my worst tech purchase ever, and one I will never repeat.