this post was submitted on 14 May 2026
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Don't feel too bad. I am old, but I made just about every incorrect decision you can and had a rather dull youth because of it.
I grew up rural (not my fault, but still sucked) in a place I did not fit in. Wrong color. I went to college, but skipped living in a dorm and went straight to apartment. Met nobody, made zero friends in two years. Did meet wife, so that's good.
Moved to different city, went to commuter college, lived off campus. In final year, started making friends, then moved away. Moved cross country, lived in small town of mostly retired people. Worked in different town. No friends for two more years. Moved to LA. Made some friends, moved again.
Moved to Pennsylvania in suburbs. Bleh.
Lesson is, live around others, don't move so much. Stay put goddammit and don't treat friendship as disposable because you know you will move again.
Living many places was kind of fun, but now I'm old and have few friends. The ones I do have all live far away, so I see them maybe every five to ten years.
Pick a place that is good, don't bail when it's not perfect and dig in. Maintain friendships.