That reminds me of a George Carlin bit where he's talking about swearing on the bible in court.

He's like "What if you use the left hand on the bible, and your right hand in your pocket? What if the bible were upside down? Does god care about our ritualistic exercises? Maybe that's good enough for god? Or will the court clerk say Sorry, wrong hand, try again? Suppose you don't have a right hand? Do you swear on the stump at the end of your arm? Or do you use the prostetic? Certainly if your real left hand wasn't good enough, then surely a wooden right hand would fail the test, right?

And he goes on and on in a way that I don't feel like typing out. Plus text doesn't do it justice. It's on youtube. Just search for George Carlin. And if the one you end up watching isn't that bit, that's fine too. All the George Carlin bits are good. Just make an evening out of it. Just watch George Carlin all night long. I promise you he does not give a shit that you're watching for free. He has a whole bit about shit he doesn't care about after he's dead. I won't spoil it. You have a fun evening ahead of you.