Selfhosted
A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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If you want to give it another try, I've used Mailcow for about a decade now, after running on Exchange for twenty before that. Mailcow is way easier to set up and maintain than Exchange.
Key to it all is making sure you have your DKIM, dmarc and SPF records set up correctly, as well as a PTR with your internet provider if you can manage it, though that seems optional.
Never had a problem with the big providers bouncing my mails, just a couple little outfits that couldn't figure their filters out correctly.
That's the first thing I tried. I could receive emails but not send. Maybe I'll give that thing one more go.
If you have trouble with outgoing mails, you can use a hybrid approach.
Receive mails directly to your server but use a mail service to relay your outgoing mails. Configuration for that is very simple in mailcow and there are a few dozen (free) transactional email providers (e.g. Scaleway).
That way you can keep receiving your mails privately and only have to give up some privacy when sending mails.
If you're new to it all, this is probably the safest approach. Getting mail isn't hard, sending it is where the potential gotchas will getcha.