this post was submitted on 08 Jun 2026
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Today I Learned

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[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 25 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

In my experience, it's about behind where the clit is. If you make your thumb and index/middle finger into the shape of a tuning fork, insert the fingers, you can rub both at the same time. Some women enjoy this, though get permission before you try!

Also, don't stimulate with your finger tip, as it's very easy to unintentionally involve your finger nail. Use the pad of your finger, and yes, it'll be a bit less comfortable for you, but way more comfortable for her. If you automatically switch to easier movements when you get tired, keep your nails trimmed and try to keep the contact closer to the pad than the tip (I know that nothing sucks more than getting your partner close but also getting too tired to keep up the movement to finish her, don't scratch her in that moment).

[–] VirtigoMommy@sh.itjust.works 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Pro tip! Scratch your tongue with your fingernail, if you can feel the ridge, so can she.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah, the closest a male body has to inside a vagina is your gums and the area inside your asshole (at least out of the relatively easy places to reach).

Also, women tend to have skin that isn't as tough, so something feeling fine on your own skin doesn't mean she'll be ok with it. And friction causes wear (including from your tongue), so try to not focus overly on the same areas, take breaks, and use lube. If you aren't using condoms or toys, oil-based lube is better than water-based lube in that it lasts longer.

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Or just be a G and round out the edges of your fingernails daily.

I'm always ready to not scratch the inside of my wife.

Another pro tip, don't use your index finger. Use your middle finger first, then add your ring finger if necessary. The two fingers are more or less linked together, and it's much easier to curl them to hit the spot.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah, only reason I said index and middle was because it won't cramp up as easily as middle and ring, but really you should switch between the two for even better endurance.

[–] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

as it's very easy to unintentionally involve your finger nail

I bite my nails so no worries about that.

If you make your thumb and index/middle finger into the shape of a tuning fork,

I don't think I am imagining this correctly?

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Or make a duck bill/shadow puppet mouth. Main thing is to make your fingers and thumb parallel and also line up their ends so you can move your hand and rub the outside and inside of the vaginal wall right where the clit is. Tuning fork was the first thing I thought of looking at my own hand in that position lol.

[–] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Yeah, pretty much. Line up the two fingers so they are side by side (also, as another comment mentioned, middle and ring can work better than index and middle, but use both to help with endurance), and move your thumb forward and fingers back to that their tips all line up.

[–] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Yeah the middle and ring finger are aligned

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

It's more the thumb and fingers that need to be aligned to hit both spots at once.

Oh also, instead of just hammering away at rubbing them, vary your actions. Like move your thumb and fingers as if you're manipulating a ball, move from side to side, switch to your tongue on the clit for a bit, pull your fingers out and rub her whole labia with your palm, alternatively tease and satisfy, have your other hand roam her body (and not just the fun parts, but arms, shoulders, legs, neck, head, belly, back, sides, hands). Try to think of all the ways you can show physical affection and do them (just don't race through the list, it's about having a variety of behaviours to keep things interesting, not checking things off a list).

[–] victorz@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Can confirm, wife likes this. Though I didn't ask permission, been together for long enough we can just try stuff on each other and tell each other off when stuff doesn't work 😆 Know each other well enough that most often stuff goes well though.