this post was submitted on 14 Jun 2026
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[–] MuttMutt@lemmy.world 24 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

And this will be my last post on the subject. Look out for my post on c/linuxsucks.

https://lemmy.world/post/48179739

Listen up, folks. We all know Linux sucks. It’s a fact. But I did some digging, and the conspiracy goes way deeper than just some neckbeard's broken desktop environment.

​It turns out Linux has infected literally everything. And since Linux sucks, by transitive property, the entire modern world sucks and we need to stop using all of it immediately.

​If you are a true Linux hater, it is time to walk the walk. Here is the hit list of things we need to boycott starting today:

​1. The Internet

​Yep, turn off your router. The Internet runs on Linux. The vast majority of the world’s web servers, DNS servers, and cloud infrastructure (AWS, Google Cloud, Azure) are powered by Linux. Every time you open a webpage, you are validating Linus Torvalds. If you’re reading this post right now, you are part of the problem. Smash your modem. It sucks.

​2. Smartphones (Yes, even yours)

​Are you reading this on an Android? Congratulations, you are carrying a modified Linux kernel in your pocket. It sucks. Oh, you have an iPhone? Well, the massive server farms that Apple uses to sync your iCloud data, send your iMessages, and process your Apple Pay run on—you guessed it—Linux. Throw your phone in a lake.

​3. Entertainment and Streaming

​Netflix, Spotify, and YouTube: Their massive backend streaming infrastructure? All Linux. ​Smart TVs: Most of them run on Linux-based firmware. If you want to watch a movie, go outside and act it out with puppets. Digital entertainment is ruined.

​4. Space Exploration

​NASA sent the Ingenuity helicopter to Mars, and it was powered by a Linux distribution. Space sucks now. SpaceX rockets? Linux. We can’t even leave the planet to get away from it.

​5. High-Speed Rail and Air Travel

​Commercial aviation routing systems, air traffic control data feeds, and international bullet train networks rely heavily on Linux for uptime and reliability. If you want to travel, you better buy a horse. (Just make sure the horse hasn't been microchipped by a vet using a Linux database).

​6. The Entire Global Economy

​The New York Stock Exchange, the Tokyo Stock Exchange, and virtually all major banking backends run on Linux because they need "99.999% uptime." You know what else has 99.999% uptime? Garbage. Money sucks. Go back to the barter system.

  1. Windows and Microsoft (The Ultimate Betrayal)

​Oh, you thought you were safe because you only use Windows? Think again! This goes all the way to the top. The mechanism used to fix, patch, and secure every Windows machine on Earth—Windows Update—is powered by a Linux backend. Microsoft uses Linux servers and container networks to push out their own updates because apparently, Windows Server can’t even handle distributing its own code. So every time your PC forces a random reboot to install a security patch, a Linux server just handed Windows its lunch. Windows sucks so hard that it literally relies on Linux to fix itself, which means Windows is Linux by proxy. They both suck!

​Conclusion: The Ultimate Protest

​If we are going to be pure, we have to commit. I am calling for a total and complete shutdown of modern society until the entire global infrastructure is rewritten in pure, unadulterated Windows ME. ​This is my final post. I am smashing my PC, disconnecting my power grid (because utility companies use Linux to manage the smart grid), and moving into a cave.

​Who is with me?!

Awww, I got banned.