this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2026
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People should just find people they're sexually compatible with. No one owes you anything, and you don't owe anyone anything. Just do whatever you want with consenting adults. I don't understand why this concept is so fucking hard? You don't like bush, cool, don't sleep with someone who has one. You like to have a bush? Cool, don't sleep with someone who doesn't like it. Simple as that people. No one decides what they like and what they don't. You can't force someone to like your body, so why even bother? There's plenty people out there who likes you the way you are.
This is the answer in a pragmatic sense, in our day to day. It works, it's fine. The thing is our tastes are not 100% natural and spontaneous, they can be influenced by context, and that context can be problematic. So the extra step these discussions are asking us to do is beyond the pragmatic or useful day to day advice you gave. It is questioning why we have those tastes. "Why don't I like natural cis women?", "Why am I not attracted to black people?", "Why do I refuse to date trans guys?". Etcetera. If we find it is not because of prejudices, societal expectations, 'must be's from unequal societies, or anything like that, then it's an unfortunate coincidence but we can move on. But if we find something like that (those things I listed), it is not necessarily permanent, I think most of the times it can be worked on, changed, and these discussions are also an invitation to do so.
Here's my approach to this, as a dude:
I mean, really I don't have a broad preference for or against bush at all...
... but, if you want me to smooch things down there, please tidy up a bit.
I just don't like having a mouth full of hair.
Don't worry, I will tidy up too, for the reverse scenario, if partner also dislikes mouthful of hair, and! ... this also applies to my facial hair... I'm not that attached to it, and it will grow back, if you want to smooch my face but don't like the beard/stache.
Maybe I am lucky in that I at least I think I look decent both with or without a beard/stache.
This is to me completely fair and reciprocal, and ... really is not that conplicated.
Should this conversation happen prior to the encounter, then?
Nothing wrong with talking about expectations prior to banging.
“Oh you grew up in Phoenix? My family’s in Scottsdale. So, like, do you have pubes?”
Sorry, Scottsdale is a dealbreaker.
I can excuse Scottsdale but I draw the line at Cave Creek.
In theory - yes. But in practice it would be rude and / or ruining the moment.
If the moment can be ruined by something little, it was going to be ruined to begin with.
Not at all
Much more rude to tell a woman you don't want to fuck her after she's taken her clothes off.
He doesn't "owe her anything", so...
Never said he did. I’m saying it’s probably better to bring up such a strong preference before clothes come off.
sex is physical use body language
This one got me hahah
You've forgot another scenario.
Wouldn't that technically mean she's raping you?
What the fuck?
It was a tongue-in-cheek comment about people who legitimately believe that a woman has been raped if she changes her mind during, but never relays that information to the man.
No one was talking about that here. YOU brought up rape unprovoked.
Rape isn't funny.
You straight up said it's not ok to tell a woman that you're no longer interested in sex.
Having sex when you don't want to because you feel pressured into it is generally considered SA when it happens to a woman.
Since reading comprehension has escaped you here - I said it's more rude to share you won't fuck hairy women after clothes are off. It is a better idea to be upfront about how you can't get your dick hard unless a woman is hairless rather than share that after clothes have already come off.
I said absolutely fucking NOTHING about rape or forcing people to have sex they don't want.
Weeds out the weak quickly lol
If it's actually a total deal breaker for you then ... probably?
Nah, I’ve been married for 22 years, I don’t care anymore. Actually never did.
If you care enough about it, yes.
Hahaha, good one 😂
... now I'm sad 😔
pokes your shoulder
Hey, I like you!
How's today going?
Hiii, yesterday was pretty bad, thanks for asking :)
This is the real answer. I mean some compromise is normal and healthy in a relationship, but for the most part everyone just do what you are comfortable with and find people who are good with that
Yep and if people at large could stop commenting on women's body hair publicly, then everyone could be even more focused on finding people they are compatible with <3
This is in the intro of the video.
I'm mostly refering to some of the comments in this thread. A lot seem to take it very personal that some people might not be into the same thing they are.
Weird, I'm mostly seeing George Bush jokes.
Umm, I do, in fact, decide what I like or don't like. That's true for everybody. But I don't decide what you like, and vice versa. So the issue is still that you can't decide for other people what they're into.
How does that work? Especially given the context. As I've understood attraction and what one likes about the other person aren't really changeable? I'm genuinely curious how can that be changed or decided?
I don't know - maybe just owning your choices?
And still, hows that supposed to change what one likes?
Of course i can consciously decide to override likes and preferences, but that still doesn't change those. It will still be conscious decision every time.
And giving the current context of sex. As I've understood, we aren't supposed to force that? Like we don't go up to someone who's gay and say why don't you decide to like women, of course some do, but we're not supposed because those likes aren't supposed to be changeable.