this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2026
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This is the answer in a pragmatic sense, in our day to day. It works, it's fine. The thing is our tastes are not 100% natural and spontaneous, they can be influenced by context, and that context can be problematic. So the extra step these discussions are asking us to do is beyond the pragmatic or useful day to day advice you gave. It is questioning why we have those tastes. "Why don't I like natural cis women?", "Why am I not attracted to black people?", "Why do I refuse to date trans guys?". Etcetera. If we find it is not because of prejudices, societal expectations, 'must be's from unequal societies, or anything like that, then it's an unfortunate coincidence but we can move on. But if we find something like that (those things I listed), it is not necessarily permanent, I think most of the times it can be worked on, changed, and these discussions are also an invitation to do so.