this post was submitted on 25 Jun 2026
274 points (88.9% liked)

Ask Lemmy

40160 readers
1440 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, toxicity and dog-whistling are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


7) No Hit-and-Run questions.
Please don't delete your post for no apparent reason. If you plan on deleting a question later, say so in the post, or if you feel that you have a good reason to remove it, message a mod beforehand. It's not fair to the ones who took their time to answer, and it's not in the spirit of the community.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
 

I've noticed that there seems to be an emphasis on being extremely serious at all times, as if every single comment is a PhD dissertation being evaluated or something. There's like this weird, subtle one upmanship about every little thing and a lot of people are very nitpicky and judgmental. It kind of takes the fun out of being on here, TBH. Or am I the only one experiencing this?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (2 children)

The only thing I miss about Reddit was a secret women's only sub that you could only access by invitation. At one point I got invited and, my god, it was an amazing little space. I posted things there that would've been flooded by pervs if I'd posted them on the mainstream site. Like a picture of someone floating in bliss and saying something like, "How my boobs feel when I go swimming."

The Women Only community here is good, but I really wish it were more private. Although I haven't seen as many guys getting weird about comments from my perspective on Lemmy as I did on Reddit, it would be wonderful to have an actual private space where we didn't have to worry about guys coming in, not reading the rules, and commenting anyway.

[–] CapuccinoCoretto@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Does Lemmy not do invite only subs/private subs? Like, could you just make the one you want?

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 0 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'd be worried about how other women would find it if it was private. Lemmy is already really small.

[–] CapuccinoCoretto@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Not everyone who would find the group a good fit advertises their gender.

Maybe an offshoot private community from the main would be a good idea though.

[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Not everyone, but bit by bit the community could be built, just as it happened on Reddit. We already have the members of the Women's Stuff community to start with.

I'm just not sure if Lemmy has private communities in the first place. I'm tech literate in the way all Millennials somewhat are, but by Lemmy standards I'm ignorant. I really don't know much about the ins and outs of making communities here. If even direct messages aren't truly private (by the nature of federation), I'm not sure if a private community is possible?

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 0 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I miss the entwives subreddit :(