Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, toxicity and dog-whistling are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online
7) No Hit-and-Run questions.
Please don't delete your post for no apparent reason. If you plan on deleting a question later, say so in the post, or if you feel that you have a good reason to remove it, message a mod beforehand. It's not fair to the ones who took their time to answer, and it's not in the spirit of the community.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
view the rest of the comments
Oh I’m not allowed to act however I want but you are?
Why is that?
You can. I would have blocked you if I wasn't ok with it.
I'm merely pointing out that you have no room to complain about hostility here. Youre a hypocrite
As are you.
I’m not your ex-girlfriend.
No I'm pretty sure our first date would last max 30 seconds lol
Putting two and two together is a real struggle for you, isn’t it?
I do hope you have a better day than you seem to be having. Ciao.
Do you think it would last longer? I am making a joke about how wildly incompatible we are
Chill
You will have to elaborate because im a dumb man who doesn't understand what you mean with the ex gf comment. You're annoying but there is no way you as as evil as my ex lmao
Unless you accuse random people of rape. Please don't do this
I promise you I don’t accuse people of rape and would never. I really was going to leave the convo there, but saw your edit and do want to reassure you.
That’s fucked up and I’m sorry you went through that.
I think you read my thread about losing all my friends. Yeah i was falsely accused of rape and almost lost everything. Time has passed and I am still wished dead by many. I haven't found any way to defend myself or redeem myself. Nobody will ever believe me. Thanks for your words. Shit sucks.
I agree with your view on women being oppressed, but holy hell, being the man in this particular situation is plain unfair. It's a miracle I didn't kill myself
To be clear I didn't "go through it" - this is going to follow me for the rest of my entire life I think.
And I know for a fact you aren't this evil because a narcissist would never carry themselves the way you do. They pretend they are harmless until behind closed doors.
I’m really glad you’re still here. Yeah that really sucks and no one deserves to go through that. It’s not a suffering competition, no one wins for additional suffering and I truly view that for everyone. Even the guys I might hold in some contempt lol
Not that you want any advice from a 40 year old queer mom, but have you looked into moving to a different city? Sometimes a fresh start is worth it. You’re worth it.
I wanted to move but I just took out a new mortgage. And also, if I move, I fear it only further "proves" to those people I'm guilty. And I am not. I can not even kill bugs lol
Well even if you can’t move, I hope you realize that you don’t have to prove anything to them because they don’t matter anymore in your life. Don’t let them live rent free in your head and yes I know that’s a lot easier said than done lol
You’re alright, just let me be my grumpy womanly self at rude men and I’ll let you shitpost or whatever wherever you want as long as it’s not in the womensstuff community, deal?
See, lemmy is good!
;)
The other reason I haven't move is because there are also a couple of long term friends I miss deeply and I think if I just hold on for a while they will come back around
Ex has a new bf who is one of my former acquaintances and I think eventually she will pull the same shit on him and people will see I am not the badman
Didn't originally want to forgive any ex friends but I can totally understand why they took her side (she's good at this) and I think I'm ready to forgive if they meet me halfway
I hope your friends come back, but y’know I also hope you start rebuilding your life without them in the meantime. You deserve to move on not for their sake, but for yours and your peace.
I totally understand missing them.
Losing friends is way worse than losing girls. There's no real playbook for navigating this. Lots of stuff about navigating breakups. But being ghosted and hated by bros who knew me 15+ years who I spent my 20s with travelling the world just cuts so deep.
Would love to not allow them to live rent free here but man, I think about those guys every friggin day. Been in therapy for this for over a year now and have to admit I haven't made any real progress on this front
I'm actually doing pretty good now things considered. My new gf is such a sweetheart and just after a year of dating I think im gonna marry her. I never had any intention of marrying my ex even when things were going well. Something about her just scared me and I couldn't put my finger on it (autist here, bad at picking up on social queues)
When she finally was out of my life my dad helped me buy a house. Said he was waiting for her to be gone for 8 years and that's why he wasn't giving me any monetary help. GOATed dad.
The beginning of this new relationship was rocky. Once I started taking her out to local concerts and she saw all the eyes glaring at me she questioned herself why I am so universally hated despite not seeing any red flags to indicate I'm a bad guy. I'm so grateful she didn't bail on me over this...
Thanks for letting me share this with you. I don't have many outlets to say this irl.
Aw man, your girlfriend and dad sound awesome! It’s not a problem, have a great night :)