this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2026
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Weird shit you did as a kid go:
I got y'all beat. (No pun intended)
Too scared to look up porn. Thinking I'd be caught. Ended up knocking over peasants in one of the early assassins creed games and rubbing my pants furiously when their underwear would show.
What is it about the internet that made you feel like sharing this?
Now you go.
I used to wait until my mum would go shopping and then i would rub one out to the posters on the sex shop walls in GTA San Andreas
I used to get off on making sims pee themselves.
You win...or lose. Whichever's worse.
What is wrong with you people? Like all of you?
How many times have you been peed on in real life?
That's advanced.
Tragically few, to your point.
Never too late to chase your dreams
And how old were you when you discovered that?
Same but Duke Nukem 3D. Those were desperate times.
"Wanna dance?"
Gaming related?
I let Banjo die and his sister be transformed so I could goon to sexy Gruntilda.
I set the CPU to Idle in Dead or Alive practice mode so I could knock over the female fighters and see their breasts heaving on the ground.
I finished to a car rocking back and forth in GTA 3.
Non-gaming?
No way in hell. Those die with me.
Freud voice now tell us about, the peasant . . . A.K.A. your mother...?
Dr Ruth voice The Penis.... ......
When i was a wee little crusty teenager i was in detention and my phone got taken away but thankfully i had an old samsung which had like android 2 originally installed with some goofy ass rom that ported 7 onto it which was im pretty sure the newest at that point and i used it to wank. It had like a 2 inch screen but all i needed is something suggesting that there was something slightly suggestive on the screen. If i hadnt done this i would have probably burst with cum or something cause i was one crusty ass teenager.
Your detention was not at all like our detention. Was it not supervised? Or public? Or in a group? Were you shut in a cupboard? Was this really detention or
It was europe so basically the school suggested id be grounded to my parents. Theres no american style detention there.
Omg I would advise please just say you were grounded (because of trouble at school) then!
Using the word “detention”, as commonly understood, turns it from a normal story we can all relate to… into a fucking wild pretty gross claim by a super cringe boundless pervert, which I don’t think was your intent!?
Wat, is it? I mean i guess american detention would mean i yanked it in school which is kinda insane so yeah. Tho i know someone who did it in class, hes fucking unhinged and should be quarantined 💀