Know a guy.
this post was submitted on 04 Aug 2026
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Also strongly depends on the community and your perceived level of acceptance within the community.
Anyone who's ever been viewed as an outsider knows that it is not this simple unless you happen to fit in.
Yeah, small town community always sounds warm and fuzzy until you end up on the outside.
A while back, I knew of a family that moved into a house in the center of a town near where I grew up. A couple and two kids. The town had a big clock with a bell that rang hourly. Even in the dead of night. Right across the street from their house.
The family asked the town if they could silence the chimes between sunset and sunrise so that they and their kids could sleep. The town said no, the chimes are a local tradition.
The family then brought up state noise ordinances that the town's clock was violating. The town still refused. So they petitioned the state, the state got involved, and made the town silence the clock at night. The locals threw a fit.
The family didn't last long in their new house after that. But they were at least lucky enough to have the means to pack up and move somewhere else.
The less lucky are stuck. They get to spend the rest of their lives as the local "problem". A skewed nail to be hammered down. I've known enough people where any utterance of their name is met with a cautionary "you shouldn't associate with them", even when it's been so long that no one can tell you why. But it's often the case that those are the people most worth knowing.
Thank you! So many people elsewhere in this comment section don't seem to understand this.
And yeah, it could be over something so benign as that, or even more benign. But too many people assume that if someone is being ostracized, then they must have done something to deserve it. That's not always the case though, especially in puritanical smalltown USA.
Some of these towns, if you're not being ostracized by most of the people there, then something must be wrong with you, because there are places where you'll be ostracized for not supporting maga or for believing in climate change or empathy.
This is why I'm saying we shouldn't romanticize that "smalltown vibe," because there absolutely is a dark side to it. But people are reacting with such hostility. Clearly they haven't lived in the kind of area I'm talking about...