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My mother returned to Canada to visit her mother who was slowly dying of ALS. (Where I was born. We had moved to my fathers home country when I was 10, to see his side of the family and experience more of the world)
During her whole absence, my father cheated on her with various women, even taking me on a couple of his dates. When she got back and found out, she decided to leave permanently.
I (12m) was given the option of staying with either. I chose to go with her.
In the last week before I was to leave; he said he wanted to spend time with me and took me out to a couple 'fun tourist attractions'. A jet boat ride, a zipline, some random park. Each of these, he brought one of his girlfriends that he'd been cheating with (not the same one each time). We also went to at least one of their houses, as well as his weed dealers hidden under-house grow-op/party room thing. More focused on his dates than actually spending any time with me. Avoiding time with me had been a common theme throughout our lives/relationship.
I later learned he'd abused my older step-sister when she was much younger...
I've deliberately not spoken to him since. ~15 years later I sent him a couple old family videos I'd digitised (with my sister censored out of them), of when I was born and a few of the years immediately after. Mostly as a reminder of what he threw in the trash.
From what I've heard, he ended up homeless and jobless for quite a while and now lives with his mother.
I'm sorry if this is a harsh question, but do you think he cared about the videos or what he missed?
(Part of) His response:
"Its bitter/ sweet to recall those happy times but i cherish that you choose to share them with me."
i am honestly shocked, and wondering if thats a masked reply or genuine.
I got a photo of his drivers license shortly before that, (needed his ID to close and cash out an RESP that had been setup for me in 2007).
In his DL photo, he looks like he's had a really rough time since we left. Like he's aged 30 years in half that time. The metadata of the photo shows it was taken at his moms house.
Serves him right.
Part of me sent the videos to see if he cared, part of me just wanted to make him remember he had a happy family and a fairly good life; until he ruined it.
Life hasn't been easy for any of us, but this side of the family at least still has eachother. It's the only thing that's kept us going TBH.
Narcissists only care about themselves