this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2026
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To be succinct and private.. My incubator worked me for weeks to build rapport and trust with me in my younger days, to get me to tell her a something that she would ultimately, and immediately use and weaponize against me and others.

This wasnt the first time I tried to have a relationship with her, but it did finally open my eyes and become the last. In the many many decades since, I've not so much as acknowledge her existence when crossing paths.

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[–] thisbenzingring@lemmy.today 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I don't speak to either of my parents. Both are still alive from what I can tell. My mom has deep mental health issues she refuses to accept and deal with. She probably has dementia and last time I spoke with her she thought everyone in the family was dead. Her story is sad and I tried for years to help her but you can't help someone who won't help themselves.

My father was never really around me growing up. I didn't even know who he was until I was like 8 and he was in the hospital because he almost died in a drunken car wreck. He killed his best friend and crippled his best friends brother. I was homeless and asked to live with him when I was 15. He was always drunk but one night after coming home from the bar slurring drunk and threatened to shoot me in the head with his shotgun in the wood shed, I went and lived with my best friend for a year and then my older sister for the last year in highschool. Later in life I tried to reconnect with him but one day he showed up on my doorstep demanding money for a car he cosigned and I couldn't afford so we turned it over to the bank. He demanded I pay him back because it hurt his credit score. Like the dude was never in my life and didn't pay child support or when he did it was always late. Caused me a lot of pain and suffering.

I unloaded years worth of pain and suffering he caused me that day and haven't spoken to him in over 30 years.

The joys of modern Native American life....

[–] A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm sorry man. I hope you are doing okay in life and have healthy outlets for dealing with this incredible burden and stress.

[–] thisbenzingring@lemmy.today 5 points 2 months ago

I'm am, thank you. My wife and I have been married for 20+ years and I have been successful in my life enough to be well on my way to being debt free and home payed for years before retirement.

Early in my life I decided to approach big decisions by asking myself what would my parents do and then avoiding those choices. Worked out really well.