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It's weird because like my mom was a pretty terrible mom and yet because I know how evil my grandmother is like she actually did succeed at being a better mother than her own mother.
Just the bar was so low that going up three or four notches was still deeply in the bowels of hell.
Like the only thing that separates my mom from being a good mom was her own psychological issues stemming from having been raised by her mother.
If she had been able to find a good man and hold on to him to fill in the gap between what she had and what she lacked, she would have been a great mom.
For instance, my dad was a pretty good man. But he wasn't white, and so my grandparents conspired together to get my mom to separate from him and isolate her, which then led to her cheating on my dad and getting pregnant with my little sister, so she had to divorce my dad because of the shame of her own actions.
My dad was in the military and my mom got pregnant with me while they were stationed in Germany and my grandparents used the idea of me needing to be born in America to get her to come back to America.
His deployment didn't end until just before my first birthday. He got back and was immediately served divorce paperwork, and while the divorce was going on, my mom gave birth to my little sister, who is just slightly more than a year younger than me.
The really sad thing is, is my dad still loved her and probably would have figured out a way to make it work and to forgive her if she had tried, but she didn't try, she absolutely rejected him and he carried the emotional pain of that for the rest of his life.