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Yes, yes we do.
I'm about as left as it comes without being a tankie, but I do think people need to deal with insults better.
I'm not talking about constant bullying or harassment - that has no place in society.
But calling out absolutely idiotic behaviour, with a clever quip, is something people need to learn to accept. It's not something you should get angry and defensive about, but rather take a moment to do some introspection - maybe I am being a dumbass. Maybe I should rethink what I just said/did.
With that said, clever insults work only when used sparingly, and to deliver impact. Constant insults are bullying. A well placed "you absolute doughnut" can do its job. Constantly being told you're shit can't. Use them sparingly, use them well. And don't forget positive reinforcement. If someone does a good job, tell them. Celebrate small successes. Learn from fuckups. Criticise constructively. And listen to constructive criticism.
If one is in the game of changing minds then, in my view, every form of insulting your opponent is achieving the exact opposite. Admitting that you're wrong is already extremely difficult even when you're dealing with someone who is acting decent with you. It's not going to happen when they're being a mean jerk about it.
Insults like that are performance for the audience. It might get applause from the supporting side and feel good for a moment but it only furthers the divide and makes the world a tiny bit worse place for everyone. There's no need to go out of one's way to be extra nice all the time but intentionally just throwing mud is virtually always counter-productive.
Look when I have had to tell a scumbag the same rules three times politely and they keep breaking them anyway...
I gave them chances. It is now my perogative to tell them exactly how fucking stupid they are and why and that I am sick of dealing with their loser shit.
If they can't deal with escelating consequences they are fucking babies and deserve even further ridicule and isolation.
The reason we live in a shameless society is because we allowed these people to publicly be shameful without completely ostracizing them from society. They learned that they can be shameful and it doesn't matter.
In early human tribes ostracisation from the tribe was basically a death sentence. Honestly insults are nicer than that.
-Margaret Atwood
Don't let stupidity turn into evil by worrying about it's fucking feelings.
Re: ostracisation
That very same behavioural pattern actually kept the stupid at bay - up until the internet happened.
The internet, for all its positive effects, also gave the stupid they would've previously lacked if they allowed their stupid to show too much: community. It allowed even the most fringe idiots like conspiracy theory believers, to openly be dumb again - because there's no longer a risk of being alone. They found "their people", so to speak. And even if everyone else locally thinks they're a moron... why does that matter when online there's thousands who egg each other on and provide that much needed social connection?
All of that can be achieved without insults. They do not carry utility beyond offloading your own frustration onto someone else.
It's a bit like name-dropping in a sense that almost everyone does it despite knowing perfectly well how it's received when someone else does it to you. It's hard to resist in the moment and it feels good to do but it never achieves what one hopes it would. Unless the intention is purely to insult without anything good coming out from it, that it does achieve, but that's also the definition of evil: doing bad with the sole intention of hurting people.
Taking the high road is just conflict avoidance.
I don't think it is, in the context of how iconoclast describes it, because they're specifying that you need to deal with your opponents better, e.g through effective debate. A good debate is the only way to actually defeat your opponents idea, and you also get to show others that they shouldn't support your opponents idea. Sometimes you lose from being inadequately prepared, but someone watching might be able to improve on your arguments. Adding insults into the mix makes people pick sides in a partisan way
Disagreement is plenty capable to cause conflicts even without insults as is demonstrated here. The only kind of conflict being a mean jerk causes are the pointless and completely avoidable ones that nothing good comes out from ever.